Here's the list for this year. I don't know how successful I'll be with all of these but they say if you shoot for the moon and miss you'll be among the star... swirling in a vacuum forever... Anyways, here are my goals. Most of these are straight from my bucket list but there'll be some revisions as things go on.
1. One dessert portion per day. I like to graze on treats. This is no longer going to be acceptable behavior. Its not that I need to lose weight or anything but I think I'll feel better in general if I don't eat as much sugar.
2. Go to Hawaii. My original game plan fell apart but I'm still determined to find people to go with me so I can complete the following to do list:
Hike a volcano
Go to the Polynesian Cultural Center
Eat fresh grown Hawaiian Pineapple
Go to a legitimate Luau. One with the dancing and the pig in a spit.
Scuba dive. See some reefs or manta rays.
Swim with the dolphins
Attempt surfing.
3. Move out of Provo. I'm pretty sure it'll happen by Sept 2011 but nothing is really set in stone. I could always get conned into matrimony and be stuck here for another year or two...
4. Do 100 push ups in a row.
5. Take a pottery class.
6. Be a temple worker.
Those are the big "must do" items. I'm sure I'll finish plenty of other things but I'm determined that these 6 will happen. Wish me luck!!
Friday, December 31, 2010
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Life Changing Moments
After praying about this for months and months I think I finally got an okay. Nothing is set in stone, I haven't even applied for a job yet (can't until the website is redone in Jan) but the idea feels good and right. I feel like I'm about to burst and I don't want to tell everyone, since things feel so preliminary. I finally decided I'd post things here for my small handful of off and on readers. I don't even know exactly when and how things will happen, but I think I finally got the okay to get out of here. Eighteen, Nineteen, Twenty, ready or not life, here I come!
Monday, December 13, 2010
Messiah and Utah Lake
Last night I played violin in a performance of Handel's Messiah. I had a lot of fun although I was absolutely exhausted afterwards. It wasn't because I hadn't gotten enough sleep mind you (99% of the time, thats the case). I ate lunch at 1pm and they'd told me to expect dinner and they didn't provide so I didn't get dinner until after the show at 7:30pm. People said we did a good job but I feel like I could have done 10 times better if I'd had some food in my system for the final performance.
I've basically decided I need to go to Utah Lake today. Do you have a place you can go to think and where everything becomes clear? One of those places for me is the lake. Its not a particularly impressive spot, the water is murky, the wildlife kind of lacking on a winter day like today. However, I feel like its a place where I'm truly myself. Well, not that I'm not myself other places, but its the sort of place that I can't help but be myself. Its effortless. Its like breathing deep from your belly, full and wide the way a baby does as it sleeps. Its like when your driving home in the car by yourself and you sing out the windows knowing no one will really hear you. You have no fears, no reservations, you just belt out the yearnings you've hidden deep within your soul. Its like sprinting across an empty field and you're completely exposed but there is no one else to see you racing, leaping, sprinting, or tumbling on the cool dewy grass in your bare feet. I hope all of you have a place like that. I hope all of you know what its like to skip rocks across the water, feel the wind whipping through your hair, watch the light dance across the waves as if the stars themselves were caught in the ebbing tide.
I've basically decided I need to go to Utah Lake today. Do you have a place you can go to think and where everything becomes clear? One of those places for me is the lake. Its not a particularly impressive spot, the water is murky, the wildlife kind of lacking on a winter day like today. However, I feel like its a place where I'm truly myself. Well, not that I'm not myself other places, but its the sort of place that I can't help but be myself. Its effortless. Its like breathing deep from your belly, full and wide the way a baby does as it sleeps. Its like when your driving home in the car by yourself and you sing out the windows knowing no one will really hear you. You have no fears, no reservations, you just belt out the yearnings you've hidden deep within your soul. Its like sprinting across an empty field and you're completely exposed but there is no one else to see you racing, leaping, sprinting, or tumbling on the cool dewy grass in your bare feet. I hope all of you have a place like that. I hope all of you know what its like to skip rocks across the water, feel the wind whipping through your hair, watch the light dance across the waves as if the stars themselves were caught in the ebbing tide.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Happiness
Here are a few things that have made me happy this week.
-Decorating for Christmas. I cut out a bunch of paper snowflakes. I found it surprisingly therapeutic and the snowflakes look lovely on our balcony door now.
-Sewing snuggies. Yeah, you already knew I was a little crazy so this shouldn't be a surprise. They're turning out rather nice so hopefully the recipients of my gifts will really enjoy them.
-Finding the last mistletoe in Utah County. You may doubt that mistletoe is REALLY sold out. Just try. Christina and I went to JoAnn Fabrics, Michaels, and Hobby Lobby only to discover they'd been sold out at least a week. The Christmas Tree stand across the street sold us the LAST of their mistletoe.
-Good music. Today when I was cooking I listened to my grooveshark favorites station and it really lifted my spirits. I think I ought to have more of it in my life.
-Annie, Maren and Aaron Dennis' little girl. On the way to book group we played peekaboo and with some blank label stickers I'd been using as a bookmark. She is a rather content, peaceful child with lovely blue eyes and it made me happy when I got her laugh.
-I made Christmas Dinner for my roommates today and it turned out to be a success. I sometimes wonder if I'll be able to fill the boots of someone else mother's cooking but today I proved to myself that I could at least cook my mom's traditional Christmas dinner. The only thing that didn't turn out were the rolls (which were crispy on the bottom) and everyone ate most of them anyways.
-We went to see the Christmas lights in SLC today. I love looking at the all the trees and wondering how many lights are in each one. In our own way, we're all like the each of the little bulbs on a string. Each one glows its own color, some glow brighter than other, but those details don't matter too much. So long as we don't let our light burn out, we contribute to a picture more brilliant and beautiful than we can see from our lonely tree branch.
-Roommates of past and present. I've seen a lot of the previous 55 roommies this weekend and a lot of my current roommates tonight. They always make me see the best in myself and seem to love me in spite of my odd quirks and crazy mannerisms. I would wrestle a bear for them.
-Decorating for Christmas. I cut out a bunch of paper snowflakes. I found it surprisingly therapeutic and the snowflakes look lovely on our balcony door now.
-Sewing snuggies. Yeah, you already knew I was a little crazy so this shouldn't be a surprise. They're turning out rather nice so hopefully the recipients of my gifts will really enjoy them.
-Finding the last mistletoe in Utah County. You may doubt that mistletoe is REALLY sold out. Just try. Christina and I went to JoAnn Fabrics, Michaels, and Hobby Lobby only to discover they'd been sold out at least a week. The Christmas Tree stand across the street sold us the LAST of their mistletoe.
-Good music. Today when I was cooking I listened to my grooveshark favorites station and it really lifted my spirits. I think I ought to have more of it in my life.
-Annie, Maren and Aaron Dennis' little girl. On the way to book group we played peekaboo and with some blank label stickers I'd been using as a bookmark. She is a rather content, peaceful child with lovely blue eyes and it made me happy when I got her laugh.
-I made Christmas Dinner for my roommates today and it turned out to be a success. I sometimes wonder if I'll be able to fill the boots of someone else mother's cooking but today I proved to myself that I could at least cook my mom's traditional Christmas dinner. The only thing that didn't turn out were the rolls (which were crispy on the bottom) and everyone ate most of them anyways.
-We went to see the Christmas lights in SLC today. I love looking at the all the trees and wondering how many lights are in each one. In our own way, we're all like the each of the little bulbs on a string. Each one glows its own color, some glow brighter than other, but those details don't matter too much. So long as we don't let our light burn out, we contribute to a picture more brilliant and beautiful than we can see from our lonely tree branch.
-Roommates of past and present. I've seen a lot of the previous 55 roommies this weekend and a lot of my current roommates tonight. They always make me see the best in myself and seem to love me in spite of my odd quirks and crazy mannerisms. I would wrestle a bear for them.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
What happens at scuba stays at scuba
So I was two hours late for dinner today. I told Matt Haggard I had two different explanations as to why I was late for dinner. Here are the stories.
I was scuba diving at the Crater in Midway. Its about 40 min from Provo, a hot spring so although its not particularly deep (just about 60 ft), its warm enough to swim in without a wet suit. Well, the dive was just about over. I was the last one to climb out of the water when all of a something slimy latched onto my leg.
I look down in horror to discover a mutant zombie has clung to my flipper and is dragging me back into the water. I have only a brief moment to force my regulator back in as I drift down, down, down...
I'm surrounded by the zombies. They make me think of zombies on gillyweed with their webbed arms and legs... well, for those that still have all for limbs. I wriggle and writhe as they drag me deeper down. With a spot of luck I notice a glimmer across the pool. A mermaid! Her purple hair swirls about her as she does loop-da-loops, somehow invisible to the monsters in the pool.
Being fluent in porpoise among other things, I cry out a plea of help. She seems rather confused at first so I try a different language, beluga whale to be precise. She nods and begins to sing like a siren. The zombies pause a moment then start charging the mermaid. She vanishes without a trace and a second later a pirate boat teleports into the crater.
The ship is rather impressive although my views are a little biased. It might have been the billowing fog wafting by or my astonishment that it had gotten there at all. Well, in either case the zombies begin to charge the ship. I'm still struggling to escape my captors, especially since I'm afraid the pirates will whip out their cannons.
The pirates don't whip out the cannons. With a yo-ho-ho they whip out something far more potent, Shark-Repelent Bat Spray. Everyone whose anyone knows this is also effective on Mutant zombies as well as lochness monsters and extra terrestrials. As the spray permeates the pool, the zombies errupt into bubbles and the whole pool seems like a jacuzzi. A thick hand reaches down and lifts me out of the water. I'm face to face with the dread pirate Roberts. In a split second he has me wrapped in a polarbear fur and drinking hot cider with the crew. We had such a jolly time beneath the Jolly Roger that I plum forgot to come to dinner until an hour later.
Explanation 2: Got lost on the way back home. Took a wrong turn and ended up by the Strawberry River (I didn't even get any strawberries! Terrible). With the help of a police officer I managed to get back two hours late for dinner.
I was scuba diving at the Crater in Midway. Its about 40 min from Provo, a hot spring so although its not particularly deep (just about 60 ft), its warm enough to swim in without a wet suit. Well, the dive was just about over. I was the last one to climb out of the water when all of a something slimy latched onto my leg.
I look down in horror to discover a mutant zombie has clung to my flipper and is dragging me back into the water. I have only a brief moment to force my regulator back in as I drift down, down, down...
I'm surrounded by the zombies. They make me think of zombies on gillyweed with their webbed arms and legs... well, for those that still have all for limbs. I wriggle and writhe as they drag me deeper down. With a spot of luck I notice a glimmer across the pool. A mermaid! Her purple hair swirls about her as she does loop-da-loops, somehow invisible to the monsters in the pool.
Being fluent in porpoise among other things, I cry out a plea of help. She seems rather confused at first so I try a different language, beluga whale to be precise. She nods and begins to sing like a siren. The zombies pause a moment then start charging the mermaid. She vanishes without a trace and a second later a pirate boat teleports into the crater.
The ship is rather impressive although my views are a little biased. It might have been the billowing fog wafting by or my astonishment that it had gotten there at all. Well, in either case the zombies begin to charge the ship. I'm still struggling to escape my captors, especially since I'm afraid the pirates will whip out their cannons.
The pirates don't whip out the cannons. With a yo-ho-ho they whip out something far more potent, Shark-Repelent Bat Spray. Everyone whose anyone knows this is also effective on Mutant zombies as well as lochness monsters and extra terrestrials. As the spray permeates the pool, the zombies errupt into bubbles and the whole pool seems like a jacuzzi. A thick hand reaches down and lifts me out of the water. I'm face to face with the dread pirate Roberts. In a split second he has me wrapped in a polarbear fur and drinking hot cider with the crew. We had such a jolly time beneath the Jolly Roger that I plum forgot to come to dinner until an hour later.
Explanation 2: Got lost on the way back home. Took a wrong turn and ended up by the Strawberry River (I didn't even get any strawberries! Terrible). With the help of a police officer I managed to get back two hours late for dinner.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Update 11/29/10 Successes and Failures
Hello all!
This month has had its successes as well as failures. Heres the news.
Failures
-I attempted at National Novel Writing Month and failed... in a sense. The goal is to write 50,000 words and I got about half way there... No, I'm not going to spend the next night and a half writing 25,000 words. I figure this was supposed to be more of a long term goal anyways and I know I'm not a particularly fast writer. At this pace, I'll reach 50,000 words by Christmas and if I finish at all I'll be happy. If I do something good enough to be published I'll be elated (and able to check something off my bucket list).
-Tuesday I was supposed to go scuba diving followed by some frisbee or at the very least dancing since the weather was supposed to be bad. Well, the "blizzard" aka flurries with a decent wind, resulted in EVERYTHING getting cancelled. I watched a BYU basketball game where we slaughtered the Delta Devils but that was kind of a downer when I could be scuba diving in a hot spring, chasing down frisbees, and dancing the night away. I guess they did have a legitimate storm in SLC so it was probably good they were paranoid.
Successes
-Got a haircut and my hair colored today. Its a darker color with a hint of red so it looks really nice. Hopefully it'll still look good for Christmas.
-I am almost done with my goal of staying off of facebook for a month. Go me.
-Thanksgiving was delicious. Ate it same place I did last year, Alta Apts with a group of friends. I spent, oh... 20 min making the stuffing and so I felt good about staying up most of the afternoon with friends talking and eating. We watched the Scarlet Pimpernel which was fun. I wonder if the phrase "sink me" will ever come back into fashion or if some guy will ever tell me "I want to know everything about you, but you must tell me ever so slowly since I want it to take a VERY long time" (at which point I wouldn't be able to keep a serious face).
-Went black Friday shopping with a friend right after work. It was successful though I was a little tuckered out afterwards. We both got winter coats and I managed to get new running shoes, snowboarding gear, and Christmas gifts all in a single day. I think it'll probably end up being worth the expense and I'm determined not to have to go shopping for the next month. : P
-Saturday I went scuba diving at a place called the Crater in Midway (this was the trip that got cancelled on Tuesday) and it was rather awesome. It was a hot spring so it could count for our open water dive and not be frigid cold (water was in the high 80's so we didn't even need wet suits). I got to about 40ft which was pretty cool. I realized that having allergies will have to be a consideration since it did make equalizing my ears a little harder, in spite of the fact that I feel like I'm fine more often than not. But yeah, I'm excited to travel and catch lobster, look at reef, swim with manta rays and such.
-Saturday I also got a Christmas tree. Its beautiful with all the lights and bulbs and decorations Grandma and Grandpa got me a few years ago. I'll probably get a picture of it and post it on facebook when the month is up so you guys can see how beautiful it is. Plus, it make the whole apartment smell like Christmas. Mmmmm... : )
-Sunday I helped my friend prank a guys apartment. We basically made a wall of snow in front of their apartment. Considering how powdery and unpackable UT snow is, you should be impressed. I'll post pictures of this as well.
Well, dinner is in a few minutes so I'll wrap this up. Love you all and hope you enjoy the start of the advent season.
Jill
This month has had its successes as well as failures. Heres the news.
Failures
-I attempted at National Novel Writing Month and failed... in a sense. The goal is to write 50,000 words and I got about half way there... No, I'm not going to spend the next night and a half writing 25,000 words. I figure this was supposed to be more of a long term goal anyways and I know I'm not a particularly fast writer. At this pace, I'll reach 50,000 words by Christmas and if I finish at all I'll be happy. If I do something good enough to be published I'll be elated (and able to check something off my bucket list).
-Tuesday I was supposed to go scuba diving followed by some frisbee or at the very least dancing since the weather was supposed to be bad. Well, the "blizzard" aka flurries with a decent wind, resulted in EVERYTHING getting cancelled. I watched a BYU basketball game where we slaughtered the Delta Devils but that was kind of a downer when I could be scuba diving in a hot spring, chasing down frisbees, and dancing the night away. I guess they did have a legitimate storm in SLC so it was probably good they were paranoid.
Successes
-Got a haircut and my hair colored today. Its a darker color with a hint of red so it looks really nice. Hopefully it'll still look good for Christmas.
-I am almost done with my goal of staying off of facebook for a month. Go me.
-Thanksgiving was delicious. Ate it same place I did last year, Alta Apts with a group of friends. I spent, oh... 20 min making the stuffing and so I felt good about staying up most of the afternoon with friends talking and eating. We watched the Scarlet Pimpernel which was fun. I wonder if the phrase "sink me" will ever come back into fashion or if some guy will ever tell me "I want to know everything about you, but you must tell me ever so slowly since I want it to take a VERY long time" (at which point I wouldn't be able to keep a serious face).
-Went black Friday shopping with a friend right after work. It was successful though I was a little tuckered out afterwards. We both got winter coats and I managed to get new running shoes, snowboarding gear, and Christmas gifts all in a single day. I think it'll probably end up being worth the expense and I'm determined not to have to go shopping for the next month. : P
-Saturday I went scuba diving at a place called the Crater in Midway (this was the trip that got cancelled on Tuesday) and it was rather awesome. It was a hot spring so it could count for our open water dive and not be frigid cold (water was in the high 80's so we didn't even need wet suits). I got to about 40ft which was pretty cool. I realized that having allergies will have to be a consideration since it did make equalizing my ears a little harder, in spite of the fact that I feel like I'm fine more often than not. But yeah, I'm excited to travel and catch lobster, look at reef, swim with manta rays and such.
-Saturday I also got a Christmas tree. Its beautiful with all the lights and bulbs and decorations Grandma and Grandpa got me a few years ago. I'll probably get a picture of it and post it on facebook when the month is up so you guys can see how beautiful it is. Plus, it make the whole apartment smell like Christmas. Mmmmm... : )
-Sunday I helped my friend prank a guys apartment. We basically made a wall of snow in front of their apartment. Considering how powdery and unpackable UT snow is, you should be impressed. I'll post pictures of this as well.
Well, dinner is in a few minutes so I'll wrap this up. Love you all and hope you enjoy the start of the advent season.
Jill
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Focus
So this month is National Novel Writing Month. I decided I wanted to try to write a book.
Issue: I'm not the fastest writer, I'm REALLY critical of my work, and I'm always rather busy.
Result: I'm supposed to have a word count of 33333 and I'm at 15998.
Its very tempting to just say "I'm not going to finish so I might as well give up now..." but the idea is eating at me. This is me publicly saying I need to toughen up, be a real woman, and do what it takes to finish.
"My name is Jill and I wrestle bears in the mountains, eat rocks, and finish novels by the appropriate deadline." Alright, lazy self, get to work!!
Issue: I'm not the fastest writer, I'm REALLY critical of my work, and I'm always rather busy.
Result: I'm supposed to have a word count of 33333 and I'm at 15998.
Its very tempting to just say "I'm not going to finish so I might as well give up now..." but the idea is eating at me. This is me publicly saying I need to toughen up, be a real woman, and do what it takes to finish.
"My name is Jill and I wrestle bears in the mountains, eat rocks, and finish novels by the appropriate deadline." Alright, lazy self, get to work!!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
And the World Keeps Turning
In spite of everything, the world will keep hurtling forward at 2000 mph. Most of you won't feel a thing but if you pause and sit very still, you might feel a slight breeze.
-This last month two couples I know broke up. I am friends with all of the people involved which makes things feel a little weird and delicate, like treading over eggshells in stiletto heels or participating in a tug of war and I'm the rope.
Both breakups have a similar synopsis: The guy kept going off and on and finally, with a rusty relationship cleaver, severed everything leaving his previous girlfriend practically broken, an emotional mess. I don't see either girl being single for long since their both young and beautiful, the sort of beautiful that will get asked out every weekend for the rest of her life. In spite of this, both are stuck on their ex and the lingering emotions is where things get tricky.
In the first couple, the girl has been really depressed. She has dropped by a fair number of times and I've fed her ice cream, given her pep talks, basically been an emotional support for her. She feels like she can depend on me which I find interesting since at different moments during their relationship, my spidey sense convinced me she was jealous I was so close to her ex. He is my co-chair so we work a lot together. He's a really good guy and we do work really well together but I've always encouraged their relationship if anything and he hasn't ever acted interested in me in that sort of way. In some ways it feels like each is now hoping to show the other that I favor their position in the break up... Hopefully that isn't true. I'm friends with both of them and I don't want
In the second couple, I still remember the girl coming into my kitchen to tell me I was the second person to know she was engaged. Part of my gut was wary of the situation since he didn't seem to be where he needed to be emotionally for things to work, but I liked them together and hoped for the best. Now things have fallen apart. The guy is my old home teacher and a really good friend and last night I rode home from Bishop rick FHE with him on his motorcycle. At one point I remembered an entirely different conversation where my roommate said we'd be good together if he wasn't engaged. I can think of a few solid reasons why things won't happen in that realm but I sort of wonder how his ex will see things that way. Hopefully she won't forget that I've always was supportive... I encouraged my roommate to invite her apartment over for dinner.
-On Friday I bought the coolest shoes in existence. They light up in a way that looks like I'm about to go into turbo speed. You may think I'm a little ridiculous but I assure you, the seven year old in my heart is VERY happy right now.
-I went to the Carl Bloch exhibit yesterday. I made a friend (who liked my shoes) and enjoyed just discussing each of the different paintings. I'm no artist, but I do get paid to look at images (slides in particular), and pick apart all the details in order to make sense of everything. She asked if I was studying art history which made me laugh. I think I would have had fun with a field like that but I'm content wondering what each person is thinking, why the children look you in the face, why that healthy looking woman is carrying water at the pool inhabited by the ill and infirm, why that man is eating a melon, etc.
-Life is good. Have you ever taken a good long moment to really let that thought sink in. I feel like so often I get caught up in things that I don't take enough time to let that idea sink in. For example, I'm communicating with you using a pile of plastic and wires which will send all of this into a box which will send it to your pile of plastic and wires and put it into pictures and words again. I don't have to pay a cent to post this and the cost of internet is something I pay off in less than half an hour at work and lasts the entire month.
-I'm going to eat ice cream now. Its one of my favorite flavors called "Everything but the..." I sometimes feel like I get into that sort of mental rut. I say i have "Everything but the..." man I'm supposed to marry, direction of where I want to go with my life, time to catch up on sleep, etc. May we all do better to avoid the "Everything but the" unless its chocolate and vanilla icecream with white chocolate, fudge, reeses cups, heath bar, and chocolate covered nuts.
-This last month two couples I know broke up. I am friends with all of the people involved which makes things feel a little weird and delicate, like treading over eggshells in stiletto heels or participating in a tug of war and I'm the rope.
Both breakups have a similar synopsis: The guy kept going off and on and finally, with a rusty relationship cleaver, severed everything leaving his previous girlfriend practically broken, an emotional mess. I don't see either girl being single for long since their both young and beautiful, the sort of beautiful that will get asked out every weekend for the rest of her life. In spite of this, both are stuck on their ex and the lingering emotions is where things get tricky.
In the first couple, the girl has been really depressed. She has dropped by a fair number of times and I've fed her ice cream, given her pep talks, basically been an emotional support for her. She feels like she can depend on me which I find interesting since at different moments during their relationship, my spidey sense convinced me she was jealous I was so close to her ex. He is my co-chair so we work a lot together. He's a really good guy and we do work really well together but I've always encouraged their relationship if anything and he hasn't ever acted interested in me in that sort of way. In some ways it feels like each is now hoping to show the other that I favor their position in the break up... Hopefully that isn't true. I'm friends with both of them and I don't want
In the second couple, I still remember the girl coming into my kitchen to tell me I was the second person to know she was engaged. Part of my gut was wary of the situation since he didn't seem to be where he needed to be emotionally for things to work, but I liked them together and hoped for the best. Now things have fallen apart. The guy is my old home teacher and a really good friend and last night I rode home from Bishop rick FHE with him on his motorcycle. At one point I remembered an entirely different conversation where my roommate said we'd be good together if he wasn't engaged. I can think of a few solid reasons why things won't happen in that realm but I sort of wonder how his ex will see things that way. Hopefully she won't forget that I've always was supportive... I encouraged my roommate to invite her apartment over for dinner.
-On Friday I bought the coolest shoes in existence. They light up in a way that looks like I'm about to go into turbo speed. You may think I'm a little ridiculous but I assure you, the seven year old in my heart is VERY happy right now.
-I went to the Carl Bloch exhibit yesterday. I made a friend (who liked my shoes) and enjoyed just discussing each of the different paintings. I'm no artist, but I do get paid to look at images (slides in particular), and pick apart all the details in order to make sense of everything. She asked if I was studying art history which made me laugh. I think I would have had fun with a field like that but I'm content wondering what each person is thinking, why the children look you in the face, why that healthy looking woman is carrying water at the pool inhabited by the ill and infirm, why that man is eating a melon, etc.
-Life is good. Have you ever taken a good long moment to really let that thought sink in. I feel like so often I get caught up in things that I don't take enough time to let that idea sink in. For example, I'm communicating with you using a pile of plastic and wires which will send all of this into a box which will send it to your pile of plastic and wires and put it into pictures and words again. I don't have to pay a cent to post this and the cost of internet is something I pay off in less than half an hour at work and lasts the entire month.
-I'm going to eat ice cream now. Its one of my favorite flavors called "Everything but the..." I sometimes feel like I get into that sort of mental rut. I say i have "Everything but the..." man I'm supposed to marry, direction of where I want to go with my life, time to catch up on sleep, etc. May we all do better to avoid the "Everything but the" unless its chocolate and vanilla icecream with white chocolate, fudge, reeses cups, heath bar, and chocolate covered nuts.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Update 11/14/10
Hey everyone,
Things are good my life. Here are the highlights.
-Grand Canyon Trip got cancelled which was lame... I guess I'll have to wait and see if it gets rescheduled in a few weeks.
-I'm still trying to do my whole national novel writing month thing but its a little slow going. This week i have a few extra days off since I'm covering Thanksgiving so I'll have some extra time to play catch up.
-I started my scuba class which is basically amazing. Heres a poem I wrote about scuba on Thursday at poetry club.
Scuba
They say it’s like breathing for the first time.
I don’t know how they’d that since they’d be too young to remember,
But I recon it’s probably so.
You feel out of place, awkward.
Big and bulbous, like a beached whale
Fins flop as you enter the water.
You take your role, don your mask, and become a fish incognito
Air fills your lungs.
The initial panic dissipates with each breath.
You take control.
You’re an acquatic Vader, dark and suited
Keeeesh Koosh
You are the master of a new universe.
With the touch of a button your suit deflates and you descend like an astronaut into the great unknown,
You lean forward and flutter,
What was once ugly and sluggish is now graceful and beautiful
Like a butterfly taking to the air
Your life as a caterpillar is completely forgotten
Yeah, basically, I'm stoked about swimming with the manta rays, diving for lobsters, and all that good stuff which will happen someday hopefully.
-My friend Kenny and I are going to take up snowboarding. I'm rather excited to get seriously into since I got a small taste of things last winter with Deseret Scott.
-I've been doing a fair amount of knitting as of late. I'm also planning a few other sewing projects. ^_^ we'll see how it goes.
Ummm... I guess thats all for now. Next week I'll be seeing Harry Potter midnight showing ::girlish squeals of delight:: and the ward talent show : P . Action and adventure are on the horizon. I guess its time to wrap up another week.
Jill
Things are good my life. Here are the highlights.
-Grand Canyon Trip got cancelled which was lame... I guess I'll have to wait and see if it gets rescheduled in a few weeks.
-I'm still trying to do my whole national novel writing month thing but its a little slow going. This week i have a few extra days off since I'm covering Thanksgiving so I'll have some extra time to play catch up.
-I started my scuba class which is basically amazing. Heres a poem I wrote about scuba on Thursday at poetry club.
Scuba
They say it’s like breathing for the first time.
I don’t know how they’d that since they’d be too young to remember,
But I recon it’s probably so.
You feel out of place, awkward.
Big and bulbous, like a beached whale
Fins flop as you enter the water.
You take your role, don your mask, and become a fish incognito
Air fills your lungs.
The initial panic dissipates with each breath.
You take control.
You’re an acquatic Vader, dark and suited
Keeeesh Koosh
You are the master of a new universe.
With the touch of a button your suit deflates and you descend like an astronaut into the great unknown,
You lean forward and flutter,
What was once ugly and sluggish is now graceful and beautiful
Like a butterfly taking to the air
Your life as a caterpillar is completely forgotten
Yeah, basically, I'm stoked about swimming with the manta rays, diving for lobsters, and all that good stuff which will happen someday hopefully.
-My friend Kenny and I are going to take up snowboarding. I'm rather excited to get seriously into since I got a small taste of things last winter with Deseret Scott.
-I've been doing a fair amount of knitting as of late. I'm also planning a few other sewing projects. ^_^ we'll see how it goes.
Ummm... I guess thats all for now. Next week I'll be seeing Harry Potter midnight showing ::girlish squeals of delight:: and the ward talent show : P . Action and adventure are on the horizon. I guess its time to wrap up another week.
Jill
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Visions of a future self
I am one of those people that can get distracted easily. One of life's great distractions is pondering answers to those "What if" questions or visualizing yourself in weird situations that could potentially happen in the future.
So I'm taking a scuba class. Its really out of this world amazing breathing under water. The sensation is hard to describe. I'm super excited to dive in the open water. The instructor was showing us pictures from Cape Cod and the clarity of the water, variety of wild life, colors, vibrancy, were so beautiful they didn't seem real.
Well, at one point they got on the topic of lobsters. Apparently in many oceanic diving sites, you can go diving with a bag and catch lobsters. It seemed pretty straight forward, grab it, stick it in the bag, make sure its big enough, and its yours.
Next thing I know, I imagine my life as a future wife. My husband comes home and says, "Boy, that smells good honey!" and I reply, "Thanks sugar plum, it's lobster. I went scuba diving and grabbed it out of the ocean this morning. Oh, and I picked the asparagus from the garden." I told Jackie Warner about this idea and she said my spouse will have to end up being quite the man. He will be. Maybe he could collect cream from his own milking cow, use my kitchen aid mixer and liquid nitrogen to make us homemade ice cream. I'm rather fond of ice cream. Oooh! Brownie sundays. I guess he could make the brownies from a box.
Another beautiful train of thought just as I started writing this entry. I was thinking about how to describe scuba diving. Things like weightless, unreal, and imagine walking on the moon popped into my head. I then imagined that lobster dinner taking place on the moon. It could be a whole family outing. My husband and our ten children could leap across the moon craters, exclaiming how this is just like scuba diving, and then go hunt for aliens or moon cheese or something.
If any of you guys meet my ice cream making, alien hunting astronaut with a love of broiled lobster smothered in a garlic herb butter sauce, you should probably send him my way. In the mean time, this Med Tech needs to get her scuba homework done and a novel written. :P
Peace out.
So I'm taking a scuba class. Its really out of this world amazing breathing under water. The sensation is hard to describe. I'm super excited to dive in the open water. The instructor was showing us pictures from Cape Cod and the clarity of the water, variety of wild life, colors, vibrancy, were so beautiful they didn't seem real.
Well, at one point they got on the topic of lobsters. Apparently in many oceanic diving sites, you can go diving with a bag and catch lobsters. It seemed pretty straight forward, grab it, stick it in the bag, make sure its big enough, and its yours.
Next thing I know, I imagine my life as a future wife. My husband comes home and says, "Boy, that smells good honey!" and I reply, "Thanks sugar plum, it's lobster. I went scuba diving and grabbed it out of the ocean this morning. Oh, and I picked the asparagus from the garden." I told Jackie Warner about this idea and she said my spouse will have to end up being quite the man. He will be. Maybe he could collect cream from his own milking cow, use my kitchen aid mixer and liquid nitrogen to make us homemade ice cream. I'm rather fond of ice cream. Oooh! Brownie sundays. I guess he could make the brownies from a box.
Another beautiful train of thought just as I started writing this entry. I was thinking about how to describe scuba diving. Things like weightless, unreal, and imagine walking on the moon popped into my head. I then imagined that lobster dinner taking place on the moon. It could be a whole family outing. My husband and our ten children could leap across the moon craters, exclaiming how this is just like scuba diving, and then go hunt for aliens or moon cheese or something.
If any of you guys meet my ice cream making, alien hunting astronaut with a love of broiled lobster smothered in a garlic herb butter sauce, you should probably send him my way. In the mean time, this Med Tech needs to get her scuba homework done and a novel written. :P
Peace out.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Update 10/26/10
Hey everyone!
Just a few updates on the happenings in my life.
-November officially started which means that National novel writing month started so I've been trying to write a 50,000 word novel this month. I'm a little behind right now (I'm at a little over 9000 words and I should be about 3000 more words ahead...) but I'll hopefully have some time to catch up on things once my work week ends. I hope to someday get it published so we'll see what happens. For now, November is for regurgitating my ideas onto Microsoft Word so I get things done on time.
-I start my scuba class tomorrow. I'm REALLY excited! : D I've been reading my scuba text book so hopefully I'm ready for it. With all of my novel writing, text book reading, and my going to Orem institute on UVU's campus, it almost feels like I'm back in school again. : P
-Went to my book group this Friday. We'd read two books, "The Secret Life of Bees" and "Charms for the Easy Life", which were both good reads. Two of my friends brought their kids so it was fun watching Annie and Lorenzo get into EVERYTHING.
-Last night I we had a bonfire/fireside. It turned out really well except for the fact that construction on the highway was bad so a lot of people got lost. Oh well, you live and learn.
Well, I need to keep hacking away at my book. Until next week then.
Jill
Just a few updates on the happenings in my life.
-November officially started which means that National novel writing month started so I've been trying to write a 50,000 word novel this month. I'm a little behind right now (I'm at a little over 9000 words and I should be about 3000 more words ahead...) but I'll hopefully have some time to catch up on things once my work week ends. I hope to someday get it published so we'll see what happens. For now, November is for regurgitating my ideas onto Microsoft Word so I get things done on time.
-I start my scuba class tomorrow. I'm REALLY excited! : D I've been reading my scuba text book so hopefully I'm ready for it. With all of my novel writing, text book reading, and my going to Orem institute on UVU's campus, it almost feels like I'm back in school again. : P
-Went to my book group this Friday. We'd read two books, "The Secret Life of Bees" and "Charms for the Easy Life", which were both good reads. Two of my friends brought their kids so it was fun watching Annie and Lorenzo get into EVERYTHING.
-Last night I we had a bonfire/fireside. It turned out really well except for the fact that construction on the highway was bad so a lot of people got lost. Oh well, you live and learn.
Well, I need to keep hacking away at my book. Until next week then.
Jill
Monday, November 1, 2010
Update 11/1/10
Happy November Everyone!!
This last week was all sorts of busy crazy and this month looks like it'll be a zoo keeping up with everything but here's the latest.
-Wednesday Night I went to a play called Stage Door. I was very impressed. The entire play was designed to look like a black and white film with grey scaled costumes and make up, lots of humor, lots of drama, etc. The basics of the story line: Follows a group of girls trying to become actresses on the stage during the great depression. Roller coaster of emotions but definitely worth the ride.
-Thursday Night i went to the Corn Maze at Thanksgiving Point. They had things from bikes, go cart type bikes you peddle, pig races, chicken shows, slides, jumping pillows, and of course, mazes. I wanted to see the haunted maze since it was supposed to have a Fablehaven theme (Fablehaven is a book series... Think Spiderwick Chronicles type of books) so I thought it wouldn't be too scary with goblins etc. Turn out it was only designed to say Fablehaven and was going to just be a standard corn maze with chainsaws and such. My friend Kami was under the same impression I was and got really nervous. I told her it wouldn't be too bad but I don't think she believed me at first the way she clung to my arm. The entire maze we just made jokes to the actors. We commented about their math homework (since most of the people working the mazes are poor college/highschool students), snacks, their costumes, their wages, etc. In the end Kami was joking along with me. My favorite guy jumped off of a huge hay bale wall (must have been as tall as a single story building and started to growl at us.
Later that night I discovered I'd left my wallet at Thanksgiving Point. I freaked out for a while thinking it was lost forever in the corn maze but thankfully a few people sent me e-mails saying they'd been called and that my phone was in the Corn Maze's Lost and Found. That was a relief.
-Friday Night there was a huge Halloween Dance i got to help organize. It was kind of a mess since less of half of the wards in the stake realized they needed to send people to help with set up before 5pm.... The dance itself turned out really well and I think people had fun. My ward was in charge of karaoke. Pretty straight forward and this year I had a lot more man power to help me guard the machines. Good night of dancing, singing, partying, etc.
-Saturday Morning... Oh, I forgot to mention. This year for Halloween I dressed as a Garden Gnome. I ran a Halloween Half Marathon wearing this costume. It was not my best race time but it was still a lot of fun to run surrounded by so many crazy costumes. I think next year I'll dress like the gingerbread man or something I can make a little less hot...
Later that Night I played a game called Werewolfs and was destroyed every round. I got the role "Teenage Werewolf" three times in a row. This meant I had to say "werewolf" each round. They'd basically wait for me to say the word and I'd get lynched... Brutal, but I guess I can't blame them...
Thats all for now. This month I'm writing a novel, taking a scuba course, playing in a Messiah concert, and going to Harry Potter Opening Night for starters. Lets just say theres a lot to do and not enough time to do it in. : P
Jill
This last week was all sorts of busy crazy and this month looks like it'll be a zoo keeping up with everything but here's the latest.
-Wednesday Night I went to a play called Stage Door. I was very impressed. The entire play was designed to look like a black and white film with grey scaled costumes and make up, lots of humor, lots of drama, etc. The basics of the story line: Follows a group of girls trying to become actresses on the stage during the great depression. Roller coaster of emotions but definitely worth the ride.
-Thursday Night i went to the Corn Maze at Thanksgiving Point. They had things from bikes, go cart type bikes you peddle, pig races, chicken shows, slides, jumping pillows, and of course, mazes. I wanted to see the haunted maze since it was supposed to have a Fablehaven theme (Fablehaven is a book series... Think Spiderwick Chronicles type of books) so I thought it wouldn't be too scary with goblins etc. Turn out it was only designed to say Fablehaven and was going to just be a standard corn maze with chainsaws and such. My friend Kami was under the same impression I was and got really nervous. I told her it wouldn't be too bad but I don't think she believed me at first the way she clung to my arm. The entire maze we just made jokes to the actors. We commented about their math homework (since most of the people working the mazes are poor college/highschool students), snacks, their costumes, their wages, etc. In the end Kami was joking along with me. My favorite guy jumped off of a huge hay bale wall (must have been as tall as a single story building and started to growl at us.
Later that night I discovered I'd left my wallet at Thanksgiving Point. I freaked out for a while thinking it was lost forever in the corn maze but thankfully a few people sent me e-mails saying they'd been called and that my phone was in the Corn Maze's Lost and Found. That was a relief.
-Friday Night there was a huge Halloween Dance i got to help organize. It was kind of a mess since less of half of the wards in the stake realized they needed to send people to help with set up before 5pm.... The dance itself turned out really well and I think people had fun. My ward was in charge of karaoke. Pretty straight forward and this year I had a lot more man power to help me guard the machines. Good night of dancing, singing, partying, etc.
-Saturday Morning... Oh, I forgot to mention. This year for Halloween I dressed as a Garden Gnome. I ran a Halloween Half Marathon wearing this costume. It was not my best race time but it was still a lot of fun to run surrounded by so many crazy costumes. I think next year I'll dress like the gingerbread man or something I can make a little less hot...
Later that Night I played a game called Werewolfs and was destroyed every round. I got the role "Teenage Werewolf" three times in a row. This meant I had to say "werewolf" each round. They'd basically wait for me to say the word and I'd get lynched... Brutal, but I guess I can't blame them...
Thats all for now. This month I'm writing a novel, taking a scuba course, playing in a Messiah concert, and going to Harry Potter Opening Night for starters. Lets just say theres a lot to do and not enough time to do it in. : P
Jill
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Update 10/26/10
Hey everyone!!
Life in P-town is going well. Hope things are going well for you in your neck of the woods. Here's the latest.
So the other day I bought a whole crate of apples. I finally finished the last of them off using a friends dehydrator. After pies, caramel apples, apple crisp, and apple chips, my apple binge is finally over. Tomorrow I think I'll go buy some pears. : )
I finally followed through with the final steps of registering for my scuba class this November. I'm excited to see how it goes although I have homework, something I haven't had to deal with for a while. : O Looks like its pretty easy reading so things shouldn't be too bad.
Saturday was frustrating since I slept through the most exciting parts planned for my day (Self defense workshop, Food Bank Halloween Trick or Treat Activity, First quarter of the BYU football game. The second half of the game was alright. Later Saturday night I went on an impromptu date to a talent show which was fun.
Last night was one of the craziest nights of work for me ever. There was a huge storm and the power went out in the lab. It was pitch black for about 10 seconds until the alternative power source turned on. Then all my analyzers went crazy. My coworker and I made a make shift cover for an alarm that was going CRAZY for the histology department (sounded like a fire alarm) that security didn't know how to turn off. After an hour things got working again except for the tube system... plus everyone showed up late for work so it made for a long morning.
I carved a pumpkin tonight. It has a Christmas Tree and Santa on the front. I'm such a nerd. ^_^
Well, that's really about all. Need to take care of some other odds and ends. This weekend is Halloween so my next entry will be 100% more exciting, promise!
Jill
Life in P-town is going well. Hope things are going well for you in your neck of the woods. Here's the latest.
So the other day I bought a whole crate of apples. I finally finished the last of them off using a friends dehydrator. After pies, caramel apples, apple crisp, and apple chips, my apple binge is finally over. Tomorrow I think I'll go buy some pears. : )
I finally followed through with the final steps of registering for my scuba class this November. I'm excited to see how it goes although I have homework, something I haven't had to deal with for a while. : O Looks like its pretty easy reading so things shouldn't be too bad.
Saturday was frustrating since I slept through the most exciting parts planned for my day (Self defense workshop, Food Bank Halloween Trick or Treat Activity, First quarter of the BYU football game. The second half of the game was alright. Later Saturday night I went on an impromptu date to a talent show which was fun.
Last night was one of the craziest nights of work for me ever. There was a huge storm and the power went out in the lab. It was pitch black for about 10 seconds until the alternative power source turned on. Then all my analyzers went crazy. My coworker and I made a make shift cover for an alarm that was going CRAZY for the histology department (sounded like a fire alarm) that security didn't know how to turn off. After an hour things got working again except for the tube system... plus everyone showed up late for work so it made for a long morning.
I carved a pumpkin tonight. It has a Christmas Tree and Santa on the front. I'm such a nerd. ^_^
Well, that's really about all. Need to take care of some other odds and ends. This weekend is Halloween so my next entry will be 100% more exciting, promise!
Jill
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Hrrmmm...
So here is a potential dilemma coming my way that I should figure out before it actually happens.
I'm happy with night shift. I feel like it works well with my lifestyle. I like only having to work every other week. I like having time at work to do whatever I like for a few hours. I like having total dominion over an entire department. I don't have to work during church although I'm exhausted through it every other week. The sleeping during the day thing doesn't bother me.
Rumor has it that a day shift position may be opening up in the next few months. It would be REALLY early, like 4:30 am sort of early every morning which sounds appalling. Day shift would let me be more involved with lab studies, meetings, have more unique testing experiences since a lot of tests are just left for the day shifters, etc. I'd be busier. I'd have to train interns. I'd have to work one Sunday a month although they do have sacrament meetings at the hospital. I'd have less travel time (though concentrated more around the weekends which would be nice, and with enough PTO I might actually get to Europe). However, a big perk would be if I ever got married I'd have a schedule that would be more convenient... I don't know when another day shift will open up again....
What are your thoughts reader?
I'm happy with night shift. I feel like it works well with my lifestyle. I like only having to work every other week. I like having time at work to do whatever I like for a few hours. I like having total dominion over an entire department. I don't have to work during church although I'm exhausted through it every other week. The sleeping during the day thing doesn't bother me.
Rumor has it that a day shift position may be opening up in the next few months. It would be REALLY early, like 4:30 am sort of early every morning which sounds appalling. Day shift would let me be more involved with lab studies, meetings, have more unique testing experiences since a lot of tests are just left for the day shifters, etc. I'd be busier. I'd have to train interns. I'd have to work one Sunday a month although they do have sacrament meetings at the hospital. I'd have less travel time (though concentrated more around the weekends which would be nice, and with enough PTO I might actually get to Europe). However, a big perk would be if I ever got married I'd have a schedule that would be more convenient... I don't know when another day shift will open up again....
What are your thoughts reader?
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Bucket List sorting...
Bucket List
1. Marry the most attractive man in the world for time and all eternity.
2. Have the most fantastic kids ever.
3. Visit a Renaissance Fair.
4. Witness a Solar Eclipse.
5. Take Horseback riding lessons so I can ride off into the sunset without following one of those horse trains.
6. Learn archery
7. Go water skiing
8. Go sailing
9. Learn to surf- Projected date 4/10 in Hawaii
10. Learn Spanish
11. Learn Ju Jitsu, Judo, or Aikido- started 9/10
12. Learn how to clog/tap dance
13. Ride in a hot air balloon. About $200-300... not any time soon...
14. Learn how to scuba dive- starting 11/10
15. Ride a helicopter- Happens at Peach days and a few other local festivals and is only $15. I'll definitely make it next year.
16. Go white water rafting
17. Witness the birth of a baby
18. See the Northern Lights
19. Go to Hawaii- Projected date 4/10
20. Go on a cruise
21. Take a pottery class. Sometime... need to plan this with Amanda Brimley before she gets too prego...
22. Know all the constellations in the sky.
23. Learn how to perform magic tricks.
24. Learn to juggle
25. Learn how to paint with oils or watercolors
26. Learn origami
27. Join a Big Sister’s program
28. Volunteer at a homeless shelter
29. Write and publish a book. -More seriously looking into this one... We'll see if I can get a game plan and projected dates for this.
30. Learn car maintenance- I already know basics... I guess maybe mechanic school would be need.
31. Learn to delegate- This isn't a very legit goal since its hard to measure but I guess my current calling is helping me work on this.
32. Become an informed woman- once again, hard to measure. I guess I could get the news e-mailed to me every morning....
33. Grow a Bonsai tree
34. Finish reading my classics list- I'm reading Moby Dick right now... its a work in progress
35. Look people straight in the eye.
36. See the pyramids
37. Be able to tell if someone is lying.- I should probably read a book or watch a special on this and perfect the art...
38. Learn how to speed read- I've heard BYU has a class. Need to look into that.
39. Serve a mission (as a senior couple)
40. Go to a rodeo
41. Own an island- Through Ammon Franklin, started summer ‘10. See if this amounted to anything...
42. Be more creative- Hard to measure... I guess find some books to help?
43. Watch Citizen Kane and other old classic movies- Have this one on hold at the library.
44. Swim with dolphins- Maybe 4/10 in Hawaii... Hopefully
45. Go on a safari
46. Ride a dog sled
47. Learn about bird watching
48. See the Olympics live in person
49. Go to outer space
50. Break a Guinness world record
51. Learn a new word every day- Started 10/10. Merriam-Webster word of the day stuff. Todays is ferraginous.
52. Name a star
53. Build a tree fort
54. Go spelunking
55. Go geocaching
56. Learn to drive manual
57. Learn to do a rubiks cube
58. Do 100 push ups consecutively
59. Make my own chocolates
60. Go to a film festival
61. Stay at the ice hotel in Sweden
62. Save Someone’s life
63. Send a message in a bottle
64. Go to Tomatina, the world’s largest food fight
65. Take a bicycle tour someplace…
66. Buy a run down house and fix it up.
67. Fly in a squirrel suit.
68. Take a cooking class/read a book about different spices/meats/veggies/etc. and what works and what doesn't
Anyone have some good ideas of things I could add to this list?
1. Marry the most attractive man in the world for time and all eternity.
2. Have the most fantastic kids ever.
3. Visit a Renaissance Fair.
4. Witness a Solar Eclipse.
5. Take Horseback riding lessons so I can ride off into the sunset without following one of those horse trains.
6. Learn archery
7. Go water skiing
8. Go sailing
9. Learn to surf- Projected date 4/10 in Hawaii
10. Learn Spanish
11. Learn Ju Jitsu, Judo, or Aikido- started 9/10
12. Learn how to clog/tap dance
13. Ride in a hot air balloon. About $200-300... not any time soon...
14. Learn how to scuba dive- starting 11/10
15. Ride a helicopter- Happens at Peach days and a few other local festivals and is only $15. I'll definitely make it next year.
16. Go white water rafting
17. Witness the birth of a baby
18. See the Northern Lights
19. Go to Hawaii- Projected date 4/10
20. Go on a cruise
21. Take a pottery class. Sometime... need to plan this with Amanda Brimley before she gets too prego...
22. Know all the constellations in the sky.
23. Learn how to perform magic tricks.
24. Learn to juggle
25. Learn how to paint with oils or watercolors
26. Learn origami
27. Join a Big Sister’s program
28. Volunteer at a homeless shelter
29. Write and publish a book. -More seriously looking into this one... We'll see if I can get a game plan and projected dates for this.
30. Learn car maintenance- I already know basics... I guess maybe mechanic school would be need.
31. Learn to delegate- This isn't a very legit goal since its hard to measure but I guess my current calling is helping me work on this.
32. Become an informed woman- once again, hard to measure. I guess I could get the news e-mailed to me every morning....
33. Grow a Bonsai tree
34. Finish reading my classics list- I'm reading Moby Dick right now... its a work in progress
35. Look people straight in the eye.
36. See the pyramids
37. Be able to tell if someone is lying.- I should probably read a book or watch a special on this and perfect the art...
38. Learn how to speed read- I've heard BYU has a class. Need to look into that.
39. Serve a mission (as a senior couple)
40. Go to a rodeo
41. Own an island- Through Ammon Franklin, started summer ‘10. See if this amounted to anything...
42. Be more creative- Hard to measure... I guess find some books to help?
43. Watch Citizen Kane and other old classic movies- Have this one on hold at the library.
44. Swim with dolphins- Maybe 4/10 in Hawaii... Hopefully
45. Go on a safari
46. Ride a dog sled
47. Learn about bird watching
48. See the Olympics live in person
49. Go to outer space
50. Break a Guinness world record
51. Learn a new word every day- Started 10/10. Merriam-Webster word of the day stuff. Todays is ferraginous.
52. Name a star
53. Build a tree fort
54. Go spelunking
55. Go geocaching
56. Learn to drive manual
57. Learn to do a rubiks cube
58. Do 100 push ups consecutively
59. Make my own chocolates
60. Go to a film festival
61. Stay at the ice hotel in Sweden
62. Save Someone’s life
63. Send a message in a bottle
64. Go to Tomatina, the world’s largest food fight
65. Take a bicycle tour someplace…
66. Buy a run down house and fix it up.
67. Fly in a squirrel suit.
68. Take a cooking class/read a book about different spices/meats/veggies/etc. and what works and what doesn't
Anyone have some good ideas of things I could add to this list?
Monday, October 18, 2010
Weekly Updates
Hello Readers
To make things more interesting, I've decided to include my weekly e-mail updates on this blog. I guess these are the sorts of things that end up on most family type blogs so it probably ought to be included. I'll still have other random updates, but this'll be just to mix things up. Thats all.
Hello friends and family!
Another crazy week has come and gone in the life of Jill Schuler. Here are the highlights.
I've been doing a lot of preparations for Halloween. Yesterday my roommates and I decked the apartment with spiders, bugs, ghosts, skeletons, etc. I finally picked out what I want to be for Halloween: a garden gnome. I got some supplies for the costume and I think its going to turn out looking pretty sweet. I also registered for a Haunted Half Marathon so hopefully I'll get some pictures of me running in that costume sent to you guys after Oct 30th.
Friday night I went to a Murder Mystery B-day Bash for one of my friends. She had it at her grandparent's cabin which gave me an autumn craving since the leaves were SOOO gorgeous in the canyon. I felt a little over dressed (less than half of the people bothered to dress up... lame) but the party was fun regardless. I got killed off pretty early because I got the "lovers" role and my co-lover was doing a bad job keeping herself inconspicuous... Later that night my friends and I watched the film "The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra", a parady of old Sci-Fi flicks that made me laugh until my stomach hurt.
Saturday I participated in the "Race for Jess" a 5k dedicated to Jess Wilson, my friend who got killed by a car about a month ago. It was one of those events where you see tons of friends you weren't expecting to see which made me happy. The memorial afterwards was beautiful and it was nice to have some closure to everything. That afternoon I had a failed Mary Poppins party with some friends (the cd from the library was scratched...), went to Red Robin for dinner, and visited Laura Crenshaw, a dear friend who I hadn't seen in forever.
Have a nice week everyone!!
Jill
To make things more interesting, I've decided to include my weekly e-mail updates on this blog. I guess these are the sorts of things that end up on most family type blogs so it probably ought to be included. I'll still have other random updates, but this'll be just to mix things up. Thats all.
Hello friends and family!
Another crazy week has come and gone in the life of Jill Schuler. Here are the highlights.
I've been doing a lot of preparations for Halloween. Yesterday my roommates and I decked the apartment with spiders, bugs, ghosts, skeletons, etc. I finally picked out what I want to be for Halloween: a garden gnome. I got some supplies for the costume and I think its going to turn out looking pretty sweet. I also registered for a Haunted Half Marathon so hopefully I'll get some pictures of me running in that costume sent to you guys after Oct 30th.
Friday night I went to a Murder Mystery B-day Bash for one of my friends. She had it at her grandparent's cabin which gave me an autumn craving since the leaves were SOOO gorgeous in the canyon. I felt a little over dressed (less than half of the people bothered to dress up... lame) but the party was fun regardless. I got killed off pretty early because I got the "lovers" role and my co-lover was doing a bad job keeping herself inconspicuous... Later that night my friends and I watched the film "The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra", a parady of old Sci-Fi flicks that made me laugh until my stomach hurt.
Saturday I participated in the "Race for Jess" a 5k dedicated to Jess Wilson, my friend who got killed by a car about a month ago. It was one of those events where you see tons of friends you weren't expecting to see which made me happy. The memorial afterwards was beautiful and it was nice to have some closure to everything. That afternoon I had a failed Mary Poppins party with some friends (the cd from the library was scratched...), went to Red Robin for dinner, and visited Laura Crenshaw, a dear friend who I hadn't seen in forever.
Have a nice week everyone!!
Jill
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
A Peculiar State of Limbo
Welcome to Dating Limbo. I've been here many a time during my dating career. It hosts two extreme climates, feast or famine. The last few weeks I've been in a state of dating famine. Don't get too worried, it doesn't bother me a whole lot. I know what I'm looking for in a guy and if I haven't found him yet, meh, whatever. He'll show up eventually. I prefer a famine to a feast of fluff dates, aka going on two or three dates a week with "nice guys", ones you are 85% aren't your type but you'll go out with them once or twice just to verify. At least during a famine I can go on adventures, do what I like, etc. without having to juggle things around mini golfing and ice skating.
My current concern is that I'm not sure how to shake the Limbo thing altogether. I want to be with someone that makes me feel happy, beautiful, adventurous, alive, like I can conquer my worst weaknesses and be my best self. Someone who helps me be my best self. I want it so bad but the problem is that I just can't seem to find someone that fits the mold. I put in effort to meet new people. According to my math with 29,192 households, 11.8% of all households made up of single individuals, average household size 3.34, and for 100 females age 18 and over, 89.3 males
29,192 x 0.118 x 3.34 = 11505.15; 11505.15 x 89.3/189.3= 5427.417 single adult males over 18 in Provo alone. By golly, there has to be someone out there for me.... He's just illusive, like a ninja.
Hrmmm... I didn't mean for this to turn into another dating girly BLAH entry... At least its nerdy... Hopefully you can appreciate nerdy, right?
My current concern is that I'm not sure how to shake the Limbo thing altogether. I want to be with someone that makes me feel happy, beautiful, adventurous, alive, like I can conquer my worst weaknesses and be my best self. Someone who helps me be my best self. I want it so bad but the problem is that I just can't seem to find someone that fits the mold. I put in effort to meet new people. According to my math with 29,192 households, 11.8% of all households made up of single individuals, average household size 3.34, and for 100 females age 18 and over, 89.3 males
29,192 x 0.118 x 3.34 = 11505.15; 11505.15 x 89.3/189.3= 5427.417 single adult males over 18 in Provo alone. By golly, there has to be someone out there for me.... He's just illusive, like a ninja.
Hrmmm... I didn't mean for this to turn into another dating girly BLAH entry... At least its nerdy... Hopefully you can appreciate nerdy, right?
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Keeping perspective
So today I learned that Jessica Wilson, a girl who was in my ward last year, was hit by a car and killed last night. She was an amazing girl. She was a gifted teacher, funny, Christ-like, fun, athletic, dedicated friend, all in all amazing. I learned a lot from her as her visiting teacher. She had a strength and moral courage which is hard to fully paint in words. I sometimes wonder if I would have the capacity to be the sort of spiritual giant she was throughout her times of trail and heart ache.
I wanted to take a moment to remind everyone (especially Jill S.) that life is so very short. We don't know when we'll have to leave it. My heart tells me Jessica was able to leave this life with no regrets. I need to try to use my time wisely so that someday I can do the same. I want to look into the face of my Maker and say "God, I lived my life in meaningful ways. I touched the lives around me for good, I was an instrument in Thy hands, I helped others come to know Thee and Thy love, I truly lived my life and now I'm ready to celebrate this new phase in your plan for me, the part on this side of the veil."
I wanted to take a moment to remind everyone (especially Jill S.) that life is so very short. We don't know when we'll have to leave it. My heart tells me Jessica was able to leave this life with no regrets. I need to try to use my time wisely so that someday I can do the same. I want to look into the face of my Maker and say "God, I lived my life in meaningful ways. I touched the lives around me for good, I was an instrument in Thy hands, I helped others come to know Thee and Thy love, I truly lived my life and now I'm ready to celebrate this new phase in your plan for me, the part on this side of the veil."
Thursday, September 16, 2010
No filter
So 2+ times in this last week people have told me that I'm holding back. Many people see me as totally carefree individual (true certain degree since I have every other week off). However, I like to feel in control. If I don't feel moderately in control I will hold back until I do have my footing. As I was sitting here tonight I suddenly pondered what it would be like if I did discard all cautions and fears.
My voice teacher would be happier when I sang above a high E. I'd get a lot more bruises at frisbee. I'd turn down a lot more dates, for better or for worse depending on what sort of person they really ended up being. I'd be even more adventurous (hard to believe, but definitely true).
I often assume a guy isn't interested in me if he isn't asking me out (safe assumption if not true majority of the time). However, I sometimes wonder if some of these guys who I assume aren't interested in me would ever be interested in me if they knew I was potentially interested. My current philosophies of dating stops me from talking to certain guys like this but if I discarded my fear of potentially awkward friendships I might actually find someone I genuinely want to date.
I think it would be educational to see how my life changed if I didn't mask certain emotions. I think its good in certain situations when I hold my tongue or don't speak my mind. Talking to people like incompitent nurses, my sister's ex-husand, etc. would be a little messy. However, letting people know you aren't happy allows them to fix things.
My voice teacher would be happier when I sang above a high E. I'd get a lot more bruises at frisbee. I'd turn down a lot more dates, for better or for worse depending on what sort of person they really ended up being. I'd be even more adventurous (hard to believe, but definitely true).
I often assume a guy isn't interested in me if he isn't asking me out (safe assumption if not true majority of the time). However, I sometimes wonder if some of these guys who I assume aren't interested in me would ever be interested in me if they knew I was potentially interested. My current philosophies of dating stops me from talking to certain guys like this but if I discarded my fear of potentially awkward friendships I might actually find someone I genuinely want to date.
I think it would be educational to see how my life changed if I didn't mask certain emotions. I think its good in certain situations when I hold my tongue or don't speak my mind. Talking to people like incompitent nurses, my sister's ex-husand, etc. would be a little messy. However, letting people know you aren't happy allows them to fix things.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
0.01%
Those of you who know me well know I love people. I'm very much an extrovert. I try to be open minded and see the good in other people. Sometimes people do things that frustrate me, trouble me, confuse me, etc. However, I know that 99.99% of the time I can look and see how they aren't trying to make my life miserable or anything. They're just different... We all have flaws, weaknesses, different views of the world, etc. and they're trying to do what they think is best based on their situation in life. I've learned that when I step back to see the other person's point of view I can usually still get along with people fairly well.
However, I recently acknowledged someone who is in that 0.01%. I don't hate her or anything. She has lots of wonderful attributes. She's smart, has great style, lots of wit, etc. However, she is VERY particular about the way things should happen in the world and is very closed minded to people (like me) who don't always see things the way she does. As the months have rolled past, she has developed a strong loathing for me. She basically hates me... Granted, I have done things which might have initially aggravated her, however unintentional they were. I apologized. I know I am a flawed, imperfect human being. She has on occasion pointed out flaws I have which are in fact true. I actually appreciate the fact that she has made me more aware of some of my weaknesses. The problem is that she won't move on or use constructive criticism. She publicizes my weaknesses in front of the ward, is deliberately difficult, sends mean anonymous notes, etc.
Well, life has taken a turn so we've recently seen less of each other, which is good. It felt like a breath of fresh air knowing that we could potentially resolve things with time and space. However, she still has gone out of her way to strike at me. I wish she would just be content she doesn't have to deal with me as much and let us each go our separate ways.
Has anyone else had to deal with someone like this? Anyone have ideas for ways you could express to someone that you hope they find happiness in a place far from you and that they would just leave you be?
However, I recently acknowledged someone who is in that 0.01%. I don't hate her or anything. She has lots of wonderful attributes. She's smart, has great style, lots of wit, etc. However, she is VERY particular about the way things should happen in the world and is very closed minded to people (like me) who don't always see things the way she does. As the months have rolled past, she has developed a strong loathing for me. She basically hates me... Granted, I have done things which might have initially aggravated her, however unintentional they were. I apologized. I know I am a flawed, imperfect human being. She has on occasion pointed out flaws I have which are in fact true. I actually appreciate the fact that she has made me more aware of some of my weaknesses. The problem is that she won't move on or use constructive criticism. She publicizes my weaknesses in front of the ward, is deliberately difficult, sends mean anonymous notes, etc.
Well, life has taken a turn so we've recently seen less of each other, which is good. It felt like a breath of fresh air knowing that we could potentially resolve things with time and space. However, she still has gone out of her way to strike at me. I wish she would just be content she doesn't have to deal with me as much and let us each go our separate ways.
Has anyone else had to deal with someone like this? Anyone have ideas for ways you could express to someone that you hope they find happiness in a place far from you and that they would just leave you be?
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Food Cravings
Trivial Facts: Not only are my sleep habits a little erratic, but my nutritional cravings clock is a little off compared to most people. In days gone by I used to start every morning with a bowl of cereal. However, once my sleeping routine went ca-putz, so did my desire to keep up with that particular morning routine. Currently I'll eat whatever I feel like eating for breakfast.
This usually isn't an issue. Leftover chili is as delicious at 7am as it is at 7pm. Ice cream is a good "just before bed" snack whether bedtime is midnight or 8am. I've had roommates give me weird looks as I'm preheating the oven for frozen pizza or am grilling a sandwich but meh, whatever...
The real problem arises when I want special food. You can't go to the malt shop and grab a burger at 5am... Most restaurants won't serve you anything but waffles, eggs, bacon = breakfast food, that is if they're even open.
I'm craving Cafe Rio. Its bad. Cafe Rio won't be open for about 5 more hours and I'm doing stuff with my brother this afternoon. Story of my life friends....
This usually isn't an issue. Leftover chili is as delicious at 7am as it is at 7pm. Ice cream is a good "just before bed" snack whether bedtime is midnight or 8am. I've had roommates give me weird looks as I'm preheating the oven for frozen pizza or am grilling a sandwich but meh, whatever...
The real problem arises when I want special food. You can't go to the malt shop and grab a burger at 5am... Most restaurants won't serve you anything but waffles, eggs, bacon = breakfast food, that is if they're even open.
I'm craving Cafe Rio. Its bad. Cafe Rio won't be open for about 5 more hours and I'm doing stuff with my brother this afternoon. Story of my life friends....
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Keeping things in prospective
Just a few moments during the last few days
I visited Amanda and Maren Tuesday for the first time in months which was a lot of fun. During the visit I got to see Maren's beautiful baby Annie. I realized 1. I am ridiculous^10 around babies and 2. That I want to have one of my own so much that I'm willing to keep dealing with the horrors of dating.... I guess dating isn't that horrific and there will be plenty of other good things about having a marriage relationship, but I decided seeing Annie was a good way to keep momentum.
Tonight I resulted a Stat test that was normal and thought nothing of it. A few minutes later the Pathologist informs me that he had been called in for a CBCA Review and that the patient miraculously was testing normal. The abnormal test results the physician had expecting to see again had vanished. The patients family had been crying, grateful that the patient didn't have leukemia. It was one of those moments where I remembered how important my job is. Usually I'm grateful for the buffer that protects me from being emotionally drained, frustrated that there are so many people suffering here. However, it was nice to lower that shield for a split second and realize how much that autofiled CBCA result mattered to some family I'll never meet.
Well, time to get some reading done. Good night!
I visited Amanda and Maren Tuesday for the first time in months which was a lot of fun. During the visit I got to see Maren's beautiful baby Annie. I realized 1. I am ridiculous^10 around babies and 2. That I want to have one of my own so much that I'm willing to keep dealing with the horrors of dating.... I guess dating isn't that horrific and there will be plenty of other good things about having a marriage relationship, but I decided seeing Annie was a good way to keep momentum.
Tonight I resulted a Stat test that was normal and thought nothing of it. A few minutes later the Pathologist informs me that he had been called in for a CBCA Review and that the patient miraculously was testing normal. The abnormal test results the physician had expecting to see again had vanished. The patients family had been crying, grateful that the patient didn't have leukemia. It was one of those moments where I remembered how important my job is. Usually I'm grateful for the buffer that protects me from being emotionally drained, frustrated that there are so many people suffering here. However, it was nice to lower that shield for a split second and realize how much that autofiled CBCA result mattered to some family I'll never meet.
Well, time to get some reading done. Good night!
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Dear Provo Library
Dear Provo Library,
This is Jill, your devoted fan. I'm around at least once a week to revel in the glory, your collection of literature, audio books, and dvds. I seldom feel bored throughout the day and this is in part because of you. You are there, containing countless hours of wisdom, entertainment, drama, and pleasure. However, I have a few qualms that I wish to discuss with you.
The books I like to read are never there when I want them. This is fine since I simply put them on hold. A week later I get an e-mail, pick up the book and I anxiously start to embark on a new wordy adventure. Then, in a day or so, I get another e-mail. Then another...
I have the issue that I can't renew any of these books:
354 pgs Lightning
590 pgs Fablehaven book five
657 pgs Mistborn book 1
1001 pgs The Way of Kings
2602 pgs Total
Mathematical dilemma: I simply cannot read all of these books before I have to return one of them half read. Then I have to wait an entire week to finish... A WEEK!! Thats like watching Lord of the Rings and leaving just as Gollum and Frodo begin fighting on Mt Doom. Like Harry Potter being forever trapped in a Quidditch match, never quite finding the snitch.
I propose we find out some rational solution to this issue.... Like you inventing a machine to feed the book into your brain when you sleep. Developing a way to alter to the time/space continuum would also be nice. I suppose you could also form a program to help prevent hold item ambushes... Or I could be better and stop putting too many things on hold at once but seriously, wheres the fun in that?
I anxiously await our next meeting to resolve this issue. In the mean time I have a few pages I should probably consider reading.
Sincerely yours,
Jill
This is Jill, your devoted fan. I'm around at least once a week to revel in the glory, your collection of literature, audio books, and dvds. I seldom feel bored throughout the day and this is in part because of you. You are there, containing countless hours of wisdom, entertainment, drama, and pleasure. However, I have a few qualms that I wish to discuss with you.
The books I like to read are never there when I want them. This is fine since I simply put them on hold. A week later I get an e-mail, pick up the book and I anxiously start to embark on a new wordy adventure. Then, in a day or so, I get another e-mail. Then another...
I have the issue that I can't renew any of these books:
354 pgs Lightning
590 pgs Fablehaven book five
657 pgs Mistborn book 1
1001 pgs The Way of Kings
2602 pgs Total
Mathematical dilemma: I simply cannot read all of these books before I have to return one of them half read. Then I have to wait an entire week to finish... A WEEK!! Thats like watching Lord of the Rings and leaving just as Gollum and Frodo begin fighting on Mt Doom. Like Harry Potter being forever trapped in a Quidditch match, never quite finding the snitch.
I propose we find out some rational solution to this issue.... Like you inventing a machine to feed the book into your brain when you sleep. Developing a way to alter to the time/space continuum would also be nice. I suppose you could also form a program to help prevent hold item ambushes... Or I could be better and stop putting too many things on hold at once but seriously, wheres the fun in that?
I anxiously await our next meeting to resolve this issue. In the mean time I have a few pages I should probably consider reading.
Sincerely yours,
Jill
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Dreams
So yesterday afternoon I had a strange dream. Usually I can tie my dreams to something that has happened to me recently but this one is a stretch...
So I was making homemade bread and left the yeast out. I came back hours later to find the jar of yeast still sitting on the kitchen counter. I put some of the yeast in a 9x9 pyrex pan with water to make sure it still was good. For some reason, i dumped a lot of yeast and started putting plants in there. The yeast solidified into this sandy dirt. I wander into the back of the apartment for something and a boy in the ward comes over and comments that I have a nice garden, particularly the cryptobiotic soil.
If you can interpret that for me, I'd love an explanation.
So I was making homemade bread and left the yeast out. I came back hours later to find the jar of yeast still sitting on the kitchen counter. I put some of the yeast in a 9x9 pyrex pan with water to make sure it still was good. For some reason, i dumped a lot of yeast and started putting plants in there. The yeast solidified into this sandy dirt. I wander into the back of the apartment for something and a boy in the ward comes over and comments that I have a nice garden, particularly the cryptobiotic soil.
If you can interpret that for me, I'd love an explanation.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Change
I love and hate this time of year. It reeks of change. New faces to fill the vacancies that old faces left behind. Students trying to piece their schedules together like a giant jigsaw puzzle. Everyone making new resolutions: I will get straight A's, I will work out at 4am every morning, I will date that guy/girl of my dreams... It seems appropriate that this all happens around the start of fall. The trees, full of pent up summer energy, mimic the world's people, bursting into vibrant new colors in a last hurrah before the bitter cold and routine settles in.
Despite the changes happening around me, my life, for the most part, doesn't feel too particularly changed. I'm still working graveyard shift in the lab. I'm still running, swimming, hiking, dancing, reading, singing, frisbee, sleeping weird hours, eating things that aren't "meal time" appropriate. Busy, but for the most part, still routine. I've been trying to get into the whole change thing. I'm getting a new haircut tomorrow. I'm trying to get to know my new roommates who seem pretty cool. I'm planning on taking a scuba class, maybe a pottery class, maybe take up Jujitsu... However, I still can't shake the feeling that I'm stuck in a rut.
Sometimes I feel like I've been left behind in the rush of things. I've lost count of the number of roommates I've had who are married with kids. So many of my friends have moved away to do great things and make a difference in the world. Its not that I won't get married and that I'm not doing great things here in Provo... I guess I always thought things would be different then this.
Despite the changes happening around me, my life, for the most part, doesn't feel too particularly changed. I'm still working graveyard shift in the lab. I'm still running, swimming, hiking, dancing, reading, singing, frisbee, sleeping weird hours, eating things that aren't "meal time" appropriate. Busy, but for the most part, still routine. I've been trying to get into the whole change thing. I'm getting a new haircut tomorrow. I'm trying to get to know my new roommates who seem pretty cool. I'm planning on taking a scuba class, maybe a pottery class, maybe take up Jujitsu... However, I still can't shake the feeling that I'm stuck in a rut.
Sometimes I feel like I've been left behind in the rush of things. I've lost count of the number of roommates I've had who are married with kids. So many of my friends have moved away to do great things and make a difference in the world. Its not that I won't get married and that I'm not doing great things here in Provo... I guess I always thought things would be different then this.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Staying Awake
I thought I'd go along with a conversation I had with one of my good guy friends about "the pre-dating list" guys apparently keep. I'm taking poetic liberties since I'm going on 4 hours of sleep. If you are seriously looking at what I'm looking for in a man, you can check my entry May 2. More realistic, yes, not as much fun as a list like this will be.
1. I want a man with a mind like a diamond... 10 bonus points if after reading this he gets the song by cake stuck in his head. He loses those points if he says I want a man with a short skirt and a loooooonng jacket. That'd be weird.
2. He wrestles bears in the mountains. Mountain lions get you half credit.
3. Fluent in the languages of all the woodland creatures. Disney has made it clear this is critical when seeking a potential "Prince Charming". 30 bonus points if he's fluent in whale and demonstrates for me.
4. Tall, dark, and handsome. Tall should be obvious since its my only hope of having progeny reach great heights. Dark, like my favorite chocolate. Handsome, well, I wouldn't holler if he were as handsome as anything.
5. Serenades to me as I sit on the balcony of my apartment. Awesomeness ^10 if he makes it into a barbershop quartet dealio.
6. Picks wild flowers for me. I've always preferred wild flowers.
7. Will lasso the moon for me. Then I can swallow it and have moon beams shoot out from my finger tips. 10 bonus points if he tells me about his plan imitating Jimmy Stewart.
8. Willing to listen to me talk about blood for long stretches of time. This is critical since I'm a vampire and am consequently obsessed with blood.
9. Isn't a vampire or a werewolf. 50 points if he makes fun of Twilight.
10. Nerdy, bookish, and churchy. All three are REALLY attractive.
11. Poetic. 50 bonus points if he were to write a poem for me. 100 bonus points for a dramatic recitation of said poem for me.
12. Has skills. You know, like nunchuku skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.
13. Culinary genius. The way to a girl's heart is through her stomach. 10 bonus points every time he feeds me something delicious that he's bothered to make himself.
14. Knows the correct answer to the question "Pirates v. Ninjas".
15. Facilitates adventure. In the chemical equation of Jill + Life -> Adventure + Awesomeness he should be a catalyst. A relationship should always have good chemistry.
16. Even lets me have the remote control. Then I can turn it off the TV so we can do something else. 100 points if that something else is Frisbee.
17. Dances. He doesn't have to swing dance although that would earn him 100 points in my books. I think I'd be fine so long as he does more than just the deacon shuffle (which we all know can make a girl sea sick).
18. Comfortable shoulders. How am I supposed to take a cat nap on his shoulder if its bony/lumpy/etc? In the case of him being really tall, having a comfortable biceps/triceps is an acceptable alternative.
19. Fills my life with magic. An additional 20 points if he knows the technicalities of the game quidditch.
20. Twirly hugs. Twirly hugs are a must!
21. Won't frown at me for only getting this far and then needing to get back to work...
1. I want a man with a mind like a diamond... 10 bonus points if after reading this he gets the song by cake stuck in his head. He loses those points if he says I want a man with a short skirt and a loooooonng jacket. That'd be weird.
2. He wrestles bears in the mountains. Mountain lions get you half credit.
3. Fluent in the languages of all the woodland creatures. Disney has made it clear this is critical when seeking a potential "Prince Charming". 30 bonus points if he's fluent in whale and demonstrates for me.
4. Tall, dark, and handsome. Tall should be obvious since its my only hope of having progeny reach great heights. Dark, like my favorite chocolate. Handsome, well, I wouldn't holler if he were as handsome as anything.
5. Serenades to me as I sit on the balcony of my apartment. Awesomeness ^10 if he makes it into a barbershop quartet dealio.
6. Picks wild flowers for me. I've always preferred wild flowers.
7. Will lasso the moon for me. Then I can swallow it and have moon beams shoot out from my finger tips. 10 bonus points if he tells me about his plan imitating Jimmy Stewart.
8. Willing to listen to me talk about blood for long stretches of time. This is critical since I'm a vampire and am consequently obsessed with blood.
9. Isn't a vampire or a werewolf. 50 points if he makes fun of Twilight.
10. Nerdy, bookish, and churchy. All three are REALLY attractive.
11. Poetic. 50 bonus points if he were to write a poem for me. 100 bonus points for a dramatic recitation of said poem for me.
12. Has skills. You know, like nunchuku skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.
13. Culinary genius. The way to a girl's heart is through her stomach. 10 bonus points every time he feeds me something delicious that he's bothered to make himself.
14. Knows the correct answer to the question "Pirates v. Ninjas".
15. Facilitates adventure. In the chemical equation of Jill + Life -> Adventure + Awesomeness he should be a catalyst. A relationship should always have good chemistry.
16. Even lets me have the remote control. Then I can turn it off the TV so we can do something else. 100 points if that something else is Frisbee.
17. Dances. He doesn't have to swing dance although that would earn him 100 points in my books. I think I'd be fine so long as he does more than just the deacon shuffle (which we all know can make a girl sea sick).
18. Comfortable shoulders. How am I supposed to take a cat nap on his shoulder if its bony/lumpy/etc? In the case of him being really tall, having a comfortable biceps/triceps is an acceptable alternative.
19. Fills my life with magic. An additional 20 points if he knows the technicalities of the game quidditch.
20. Twirly hugs. Twirly hugs are a must!
21. Won't frown at me for only getting this far and then needing to get back to work...
Monday, August 9, 2010
All sorts of awkward potential
You think your life has its potentially awkward moments? Well, see if you can top my top four for the week.
1. Dancing last night there was Mr. "Invade your personal space". I'm fine with some guys dancing close to me, especially if I know them well and it fits with the song choice (blues dancing for example). This guy, however, just invaded my space and it didn't really go with the song. Tried some tactics but it took a while before he realized that I didn't want him that close....
2. My ex-boyfriend started dating my roommate. I've been giving her advice and even went with her to his families house for dinner as moral support. I guess I love them both (well, him in a "just friends" sort of way) so it really isn't bothering me but there have been a few moments when I've gone "uhh... yeah, weird".
3. My guyfriend introduced me to the "Awkward Hug". It involves a hug where you lean in and breath a long breath onto the other person's neck. Wasn't expecting it... I've beat him in an awkward contest before but he might have had a chance if he had pulled that one on me...
4. I got this package on my front door. Think it might be small for my dance shoes... No, its a bag of "fake blood" and a note trying to ask me out. I find it interesting that my thoughts are "low crit, hemolyzed, where in the devil is this coming from."
1. Dancing last night there was Mr. "Invade your personal space". I'm fine with some guys dancing close to me, especially if I know them well and it fits with the song choice (blues dancing for example). This guy, however, just invaded my space and it didn't really go with the song. Tried some tactics but it took a while before he realized that I didn't want him that close....
2. My ex-boyfriend started dating my roommate. I've been giving her advice and even went with her to his families house for dinner as moral support. I guess I love them both (well, him in a "just friends" sort of way) so it really isn't bothering me but there have been a few moments when I've gone "uhh... yeah, weird".
3. My guyfriend introduced me to the "Awkward Hug". It involves a hug where you lean in and breath a long breath onto the other person's neck. Wasn't expecting it... I've beat him in an awkward contest before but he might have had a chance if he had pulled that one on me...
4. I got this package on my front door. Think it might be small for my dance shoes... No, its a bag of "fake blood" and a note trying to ask me out. I find it interesting that my thoughts are "low crit, hemolyzed, where in the devil is this coming from."
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
All is well
I'm at a moment of inner peace. Maybe its because I just finished an awesome game of night frisbee. Maybe its because I'm typing on my super cool new computer. Maybe its because I just treated myself to another creamy.
There have been a lot of things on my mind as of late: My grandma's surgery, my ambiguous dating life, people moving, an overly busy schedule, feelings and emotions that leave me feeling very.... female. I'd been feeling a lot of in inner turmoil until a few hours ago. I had a conversation that I thought would be unpleasant and frustrating. However, as I talked I realized that I just needed to decide to stop worrying.
God is in charge. Things will turn out all right in the end. Someday things will make sense. I'll eventually move on from this phase of life and get to face a whole new set of problems. In the mean time, I need to stop being so restless and impulsive and take things as they come. Enjoy the ride. Life is good.
There have been a lot of things on my mind as of late: My grandma's surgery, my ambiguous dating life, people moving, an overly busy schedule, feelings and emotions that leave me feeling very.... female. I'd been feeling a lot of in inner turmoil until a few hours ago. I had a conversation that I thought would be unpleasant and frustrating. However, as I talked I realized that I just needed to decide to stop worrying.
God is in charge. Things will turn out all right in the end. Someday things will make sense. I'll eventually move on from this phase of life and get to face a whole new set of problems. In the mean time, I need to stop being so restless and impulsive and take things as they come. Enjoy the ride. Life is good.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
To do list
Dear self,
I have WAY too many things I want to do in the next few months... So, I've decided to write myself a schedule so that all of the excellence that will be Aug/Sept will happen. Y'all ready for this?!? ::insert theme music here::
Must Do Aug
New Laptop
New Ipod that'll actually play in my car.
Half Marathon
Education Week
Musical Review
Must Do Sept
Scuba course
See Broadway's Tarzan
Go camping again, someplace epic
Visit Maren/Mailee/Amanda (when she gets back)
Yet to decide on
Get me a piano
Sky diving again?
See Wicked
Read a bajillion books
I have WAY too many things I want to do in the next few months... So, I've decided to write myself a schedule so that all of the excellence that will be Aug/Sept will happen. Y'all ready for this?!? ::insert theme music here::
Must Do Aug
New Laptop
New Ipod that'll actually play in my car.
Half Marathon
Education Week
Musical Review
Must Do Sept
Scuba course
See Broadway's Tarzan
Go camping again, someplace epic
Visit Maren/Mailee/Amanda (when she gets back)
Yet to decide on
Get me a piano
Sky diving again?
See Wicked
Read a bajillion books
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Sometimes I hate my emotions.
I hate the empty hopelessness, the frustration, the surrender, the wishing they could see how we could still work things out.
I loath the sour flavor of jealousy, the inadequacy, the rash impulsive heat driving you to prove that you are good enough for them.
I despise the ebbing waves of confusion, the loneliness, the dreams that tomorrow will be different yet deep down knowing tomorrow will probably still be the same.
I know I am a daughter of God. I know I can change. I can be a little smarter, a little kinder, a little braver. However, that doesn't stop me from feeling the way I do.
I loath the sour flavor of jealousy, the inadequacy, the rash impulsive heat driving you to prove that you are good enough for them.
I despise the ebbing waves of confusion, the loneliness, the dreams that tomorrow will be different yet deep down knowing tomorrow will probably still be the same.
I know I am a daughter of God. I know I can change. I can be a little smarter, a little kinder, a little braver. However, that doesn't stop me from feeling the way I do.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
The diagnosis is...
Dx: Motorcycle vs. Deer. Clearly the motorcyclist didn't win. Nobody won. Well, maybe that guy who got to go home and make venison jerky won but who cares about him. The jerky man doesn't really matter....
What does matter is my curiosity about whether they have different variations of this diagnosis. For example Motorcycle vs. Brick wall. Motorcycle vs. Cliffs of insanity. Motorcycle vs. Godzilla. I can just imagine two guys in the ER having this exact conversation.
"Did you see that guy who just came in?"
"Yeah... Clearly a Motorcycle vs. Unicorn."
"I'm sure Dr. Mastersen is going to have a rough night cleaning out all of the sparkles and glitter."
"Yeah. That really is too bad. My mother complains about my motorcycle. Says its not if you get hit but when."
"Yeah, well, I gotta take care of another trauma. Stroller vs. Rabid Llama that just came in. Hope you have a good night."
"You too."
UPDATE!!!
So I just finished talking to Christy and she informs me that at some point she saw Dx: Lightning Strike to helmet. You would have such a hard time convincing people you survived that one. "I got that scar on my face when I was struck by lightning while riding my Harley." I wish I was that intense... Wouldn't want to deal with the injury but no denying you'd have to be hard core to survive that one.
What does matter is my curiosity about whether they have different variations of this diagnosis. For example Motorcycle vs. Brick wall. Motorcycle vs. Cliffs of insanity. Motorcycle vs. Godzilla. I can just imagine two guys in the ER having this exact conversation.
"Did you see that guy who just came in?"
"Yeah... Clearly a Motorcycle vs. Unicorn."
"I'm sure Dr. Mastersen is going to have a rough night cleaning out all of the sparkles and glitter."
"Yeah. That really is too bad. My mother complains about my motorcycle. Says its not if you get hit but when."
"Yeah, well, I gotta take care of another trauma. Stroller vs. Rabid Llama that just came in. Hope you have a good night."
"You too."
UPDATE!!!
So I just finished talking to Christy and she informs me that at some point she saw Dx: Lightning Strike to helmet. You would have such a hard time convincing people you survived that one. "I got that scar on my face when I was struck by lightning while riding my Harley." I wish I was that intense... Wouldn't want to deal with the injury but no denying you'd have to be hard core to survive that one.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Bucket list and books
I'm SOOOO excited about Pioneer Day weekend. I'll be checking off not one but TWO (-ish) bucket list items.
1. Shakespeare Festival in Cedar City
2. Going to the St. George Temple (part of my see all the temples in UT goal)
3. Camping in the Grand Canyon (at Havasupai)
So as of late I've discovered Goodreads.com. Can I just say I love books. The smell, the feel of the pages as you flip through a volume, the way the words just roll off the pages and come to life... well, in good books anyways. I've decided that I'm moderately bookish and that's a VERY good thing.
Well, back to work with me... I'm almost at the halfway mark and almost at a point where I should start worrying about all the things I haven't been doing. : P
1. Shakespeare Festival in Cedar City
2. Going to the St. George Temple (part of my see all the temples in UT goal)
3. Camping in the Grand Canyon (at Havasupai)
So as of late I've discovered Goodreads.com. Can I just say I love books. The smell, the feel of the pages as you flip through a volume, the way the words just roll off the pages and come to life... well, in good books anyways. I've decided that I'm moderately bookish and that's a VERY good thing.
Well, back to work with me... I'm almost at the halfway mark and almost at a point where I should start worrying about all the things I haven't been doing. : P
Friday, July 9, 2010
Monestary
I had a date on Thursday. I had a date today. Tomorrow I have two men coming with me to a monastery. I've decided that maybe they can leave me there and I can become the first Mormon nun.
For one thing, I'm sick of dating since don't know what I want anymore... well, I do... but nobody who'll ask me out. I've basically concluded that the ones who have been asking me out aren't ones I'd pick out of a crowd and say "I choose you!" I don't want to ever feel I'm dating someone "just because he was the best out of the guys that were bothering to ask me out."
Second thing, they keep invading my personal space. I'm going to start getting annoyed if they keep at it. It makes me feel like a trophy date when they seem interested in my money, my academics or talents, and not who I really am. It makes me feel even worse when they move in close and I know they don't know the real me or aren't even interested in finding out the real me since I fit the "trophy date" criteria. Hormones make men stupid.
Finally, I heard a rumor about a flying nun and I could totally dig the idea of me flying around in a black and white habit. It'd be sweet.
We'll see how Pres. Monson feels about things and I guess we'll see where things go from there. Peace out....
For one thing, I'm sick of dating since don't know what I want anymore... well, I do... but nobody who'll ask me out. I've basically concluded that the ones who have been asking me out aren't ones I'd pick out of a crowd and say "I choose you!" I don't want to ever feel I'm dating someone "just because he was the best out of the guys that were bothering to ask me out."
Second thing, they keep invading my personal space. I'm going to start getting annoyed if they keep at it. It makes me feel like a trophy date when they seem interested in my money, my academics or talents, and not who I really am. It makes me feel even worse when they move in close and I know they don't know the real me or aren't even interested in finding out the real me since I fit the "trophy date" criteria. Hormones make men stupid.
Finally, I heard a rumor about a flying nun and I could totally dig the idea of me flying around in a black and white habit. It'd be sweet.
We'll see how Pres. Monson feels about things and I guess we'll see where things go from there. Peace out....
Saturday, July 3, 2010
High School Crush
I had a conversation with Deseret today that brought back some old memories. We were talking about her summer job and she mentioned that one of my old high school crushes worked there too.
From a superficial standpoint he had a lot going from him. He was a swimmer and definitely had the build. He has a beautiful smile. When he talks, it sounds like he could swallow an orange. I guess from a less superficial view we did have a lot in common as far as interests go. Regardless, I was smitten.
We didn't see a whole lot of each other. My heart would flutter thinking about Saturday afternoons at about 10:45am (ish). I'd stand there with my Oreos anxious for him to approach. He'd talk about the cello and music, about his family, about school in a delightfully science nerdy sort of way...
One time he took me to a concert. I was in a sort of euphoria, even though we did get lost in Minneapolis/St. Paul. It was a month before the start of summer and my departure for my first semester at BYU. Shortly afterwards he wrote me a note saying he should have dated me instead of another girl... Needless to say, I was frustrated that by a twist of fate this all had happened less than a month before I'd go home...
Looking at things now, I know it would have never worked. However, the naustalgic side of me wonders what things would have been like if they'd been different.... Meh, oh well....
From a superficial standpoint he had a lot going from him. He was a swimmer and definitely had the build. He has a beautiful smile. When he talks, it sounds like he could swallow an orange. I guess from a less superficial view we did have a lot in common as far as interests go. Regardless, I was smitten.
We didn't see a whole lot of each other. My heart would flutter thinking about Saturday afternoons at about 10:45am (ish). I'd stand there with my Oreos anxious for him to approach. He'd talk about the cello and music, about his family, about school in a delightfully science nerdy sort of way...
One time he took me to a concert. I was in a sort of euphoria, even though we did get lost in Minneapolis/St. Paul. It was a month before the start of summer and my departure for my first semester at BYU. Shortly afterwards he wrote me a note saying he should have dated me instead of another girl... Needless to say, I was frustrated that by a twist of fate this all had happened less than a month before I'd go home...
Looking at things now, I know it would have never worked. However, the naustalgic side of me wonders what things would have been like if they'd been different.... Meh, oh well....
Monday, June 28, 2010
Therapy
I hiked a mountain today. Being the impulsive woman I am, I grabbed my MP3, told Jessi where I was going, and drove up to the trail head.
The air was hot and thick with the smell of sweet grasses. The sun was brilliant as it blinded my ramblings across the rocky trail. Wildflowers grew everywhere, first in yellows, then in periwinkle blue and vibrant reds. After scampering, savoring, frolicking up the mountain, I managed to reach the summit.
On the way to the top I had blasted music but as I sat on the kearn and looked out on the entire valley, I turned everything off and listened to the wind rushing past. It was therapeutic to know I was all alone up there on top of the world. A place where no one could touch me. A place where I could leave all of my muddled confusing thoughts behind and focus on more important things like the inhale and exhale of each breath, the sun kissing my bare skin, the pounding of my own heart.
The air was hot and thick with the smell of sweet grasses. The sun was brilliant as it blinded my ramblings across the rocky trail. Wildflowers grew everywhere, first in yellows, then in periwinkle blue and vibrant reds. After scampering, savoring, frolicking up the mountain, I managed to reach the summit.
On the way to the top I had blasted music but as I sat on the kearn and looked out on the entire valley, I turned everything off and listened to the wind rushing past. It was therapeutic to know I was all alone up there on top of the world. A place where no one could touch me. A place where I could leave all of my muddled confusing thoughts behind and focus on more important things like the inhale and exhale of each breath, the sun kissing my bare skin, the pounding of my own heart.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Men and Kitchenaid
About a month ago I was trying to decide what to get myself for my birthday. I'm at this phase in my life where I just buy something if I need it. There aren't a whole lot of things that I really want that I haven't gone out to buy. Something that was on my "to buy" list was a Kitchenaid. However, a Kitchenaid is one of those gifts they give you when you get married. You don't buy one for yourself...
And then I had this ah ha moment where I realized "That may be in 10 years... or 20... or after this life and I won't need a kitchenaid at that point."
So, I bought myself a kitchenaid. I've decided its a physical representation of my failing love life. My resignation that I probably won't be getting married anytime in the foreseeable future...
When he pursues and fits the model of what I'm looking for, something doesn't feel right whether its chemistry, or whatever. Sometimes you brush them off and they leave you alone but then there's the one who won't be brushed off and you feel even worse about the whole situation.
Then there's the guy your interested in but they treat you as "just a friend" and won't ask you out. I know I want to end up with somebody whose absolutely crazy for me. You wonder if has ever considered things so you should give him hint. You feel like your entire heart and soul is out on display as you attempt to give him a "subtle" hint. It feels like you're running around with a megaphone going "I think you're attractive. I'm not in love with you or anything but I think you should ask me out!"
Then I get frustrated with things and snap I end up doing something rash, like flirting really hard and then some random guy. He proceeds to ask for my number and I go "Crap, why did I let that happen?" Of course at this point I've officially labeled myself as a terrible person. I go home, hide away with Ben and Jerry's, whip out a book and pretend things were the way I always imagined they would be.
At least tonight I dine on homemade bread and a giant glass of 2% milk. I guess thats at least a little healthier than icecream.
And then I had this ah ha moment where I realized "That may be in 10 years... or 20... or after this life and I won't need a kitchenaid at that point."
So, I bought myself a kitchenaid. I've decided its a physical representation of my failing love life. My resignation that I probably won't be getting married anytime in the foreseeable future...
When he pursues and fits the model of what I'm looking for, something doesn't feel right whether its chemistry, or whatever. Sometimes you brush them off and they leave you alone but then there's the one who won't be brushed off and you feel even worse about the whole situation.
Then there's the guy your interested in but they treat you as "just a friend" and won't ask you out. I know I want to end up with somebody whose absolutely crazy for me. You wonder if has ever considered things so you should give him hint. You feel like your entire heart and soul is out on display as you attempt to give him a "subtle" hint. It feels like you're running around with a megaphone going "I think you're attractive. I'm not in love with you or anything but I think you should ask me out!"
Then I get frustrated with things and snap I end up doing something rash, like flirting really hard and then some random guy. He proceeds to ask for my number and I go "Crap, why did I let that happen?" Of course at this point I've officially labeled myself as a terrible person. I go home, hide away with Ben and Jerry's, whip out a book and pretend things were the way I always imagined they would be.
At least tonight I dine on homemade bread and a giant glass of 2% milk. I guess thats at least a little healthier than icecream.
Friday, June 25, 2010
It gave me a fright...
So I just got back from a night of blues dancing. My apartment feels like its 85/90F. I decide its 1am and I'll jump into my summer night attire (I'm not running around in my G's but I'm still not fit to be seen in mixed company. FYI...). I jump onto my laptop to check some things when I hear a strange shuffling outside.
I pause... I feel suddenly a little self conscious. I'm still frozen like a deer in headlights but after a moment longer, I begin to breath again and continue typing.
GAH!! There it is again. I grab a blanket (even though its a furnace in here) and creep the balcony. There is nothing but a flimsy screen separating me from a potential killer... or rapist... or creep....
I glance down. Turns out my roommate decided to camp out on the balcony. I don't blame her. I might consider doing it myself if it wasn't already occupied.
I pause... I feel suddenly a little self conscious. I'm still frozen like a deer in headlights but after a moment longer, I begin to breath again and continue typing.
GAH!! There it is again. I grab a blanket (even though its a furnace in here) and creep the balcony. There is nothing but a flimsy screen separating me from a potential killer... or rapist... or creep....
I glance down. Turns out my roommate decided to camp out on the balcony. I don't blame her. I might consider doing it myself if it wasn't already occupied.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
This is me trying to think through my week off. I haven't had one in a month and I want to make sure its as epic as the occasion deserves.
Wed
Deep clean my room. Listen to Dune at the same time
Afterwards- Run at least 8 miles straight... Swim afterwards if theres time.
4:45pm- Voice Lesson
7pm- Hip Hop Ruitine rehearsal
Eveningish- Prince of Persia. Need to find someone to come with....
Thurs
12pm- Temple with Gabi
5pm- Steve's going away party
7:45pm- Fugitive
9ishpm- Blue Tango @ Ozz.
Fri 9am- Bike to Bridal Veil with roommates
12pm- Make homemade bread
9ishpm- Night Frisbee
Sat
10am- More frisbee
4-5pm- Play practice
6-10:30- Stake Picnic/Talent Show
Sun
Choir and meetings... lots of meetings...
Sometime-ish- Play the game I got for my birthday.
Unscheduled events
Chalk mural
Attatch glowsticks to kites and have kite battles!!
Read stuff from the Library
Hike the Y all the way up
I'm going to get back to my reading then. I just wanted to get all of that written down somewhere so I wouldn't have to try to mentally regurgitate all of that.
Wed
Deep clean my room. Listen to Dune at the same time
Afterwards- Run at least 8 miles straight... Swim afterwards if theres time.
4:45pm- Voice Lesson
7pm- Hip Hop Ruitine rehearsal
Eveningish- Prince of Persia. Need to find someone to come with....
Thurs
12pm- Temple with Gabi
5pm- Steve's going away party
7:45pm- Fugitive
9ishpm- Blue Tango @ Ozz.
Fri 9am- Bike to Bridal Veil with roommates
12pm- Make homemade bread
9ishpm- Night Frisbee
Sat
10am- More frisbee
4-5pm- Play practice
6-10:30- Stake Picnic/Talent Show
Sun
Choir and meetings... lots of meetings...
Sometime-ish- Play the game I got for my birthday.
Unscheduled events
Chalk mural
Attatch glowsticks to kites and have kite battles!!
Read stuff from the Library
Hike the Y all the way up
I'm going to get back to my reading then. I just wanted to get all of that written down somewhere so I wouldn't have to try to mentally regurgitate all of that.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Men and work
I wander into work again. Its been a long day. I went to the temple, took care of stuff for my calling, went on a date, and attended a party. I'm feeling energized but realize its the sort that will probably burn out by about 2am.
As I begin my routine maintenance, I'm ambushed by Abeth. She, too, seems to be full of energy. Its a different sort of energy though. I've seen that energy, that glimmer in her eye before. This is the "I've found the man to end your singledom" glimmer.
"Jill, I've got a secret for you!" she declares with animated guestures. "Today I was taking care of something in the OR and I met this Plastic Surgeon. He's GORGEOUS Jill and he's single." I try to keep my laughter to myself as she goes on and on about how kind, funny, ambitious and attractive he is. My co-worker Laureen confirms that he is handsome and single. After about 5 minutes of them raving about how fabulous he is, I finally let my laughter loose and suggest we stalk him on RoloDoc.
The purpose of RoloDoc is to be able to contact doctors after hours but it includes a picture. The three of us hovered around the urinalysis computer as we pull up Dr.****. He is handsome. He also looks about ten years older than me. As they finish their final praises and conspiring on how we'll meet, I pause and dwell on my dating life.
I'm 24 and single. There is no shame in this. If its possible to have too much fun, I probably come close to it. I have time and money, an unusual and potentially dangerous combination. I'm very happy in my life but the one of the things I want most in my life right now has a nasty tendancy to avoid me like the plague.
I wonder whats wrong with me. I don't have a problem getting dates. My roommates tease me that I go on more dates then everyone else in the apartment combined (which isn't true... not most of the time anyways). I can manage to get a steady date stream with a wide variety of guys but nobody wants to be with me long term. I sometimes feel like I'm that filler date, that girl they go out with while they pine over Tasha or Amanda or Jennifer, thats just like me in every way except she has that way of glancing at you neath sultry lashes and can flash a smile that lights up the room.
::sigh:: I'm going to finish staring at blood... If anyone figures out why I'm so not-longterm-datable let me know....
As I begin my routine maintenance, I'm ambushed by Abeth. She, too, seems to be full of energy. Its a different sort of energy though. I've seen that energy, that glimmer in her eye before. This is the "I've found the man to end your singledom" glimmer.
"Jill, I've got a secret for you!" she declares with animated guestures. "Today I was taking care of something in the OR and I met this Plastic Surgeon. He's GORGEOUS Jill and he's single." I try to keep my laughter to myself as she goes on and on about how kind, funny, ambitious and attractive he is. My co-worker Laureen confirms that he is handsome and single. After about 5 minutes of them raving about how fabulous he is, I finally let my laughter loose and suggest we stalk him on RoloDoc.
The purpose of RoloDoc is to be able to contact doctors after hours but it includes a picture. The three of us hovered around the urinalysis computer as we pull up Dr.****. He is handsome. He also looks about ten years older than me. As they finish their final praises and conspiring on how we'll meet, I pause and dwell on my dating life.
I'm 24 and single. There is no shame in this. If its possible to have too much fun, I probably come close to it. I have time and money, an unusual and potentially dangerous combination. I'm very happy in my life but the one of the things I want most in my life right now has a nasty tendancy to avoid me like the plague.
I wonder whats wrong with me. I don't have a problem getting dates. My roommates tease me that I go on more dates then everyone else in the apartment combined (which isn't true... not most of the time anyways). I can manage to get a steady date stream with a wide variety of guys but nobody wants to be with me long term. I sometimes feel like I'm that filler date, that girl they go out with while they pine over Tasha or Amanda or Jennifer, thats just like me in every way except she has that way of glancing at you neath sultry lashes and can flash a smile that lights up the room.
::sigh:: I'm going to finish staring at blood... If anyone figures out why I'm so not-longterm-datable let me know....
Sunday, June 6, 2010
The makings of a nigh unto flawless birthday
4 B-day cards
6.5 phone calls from some of the people who matter most to me in the world.
2 slices of Kneader's French Toast (I know, I'm such a wuss for only being able to handle too... I'll blame old age)
2.5 hours Frisbee
.5 hours at the pool
1 wrath of James Castleton never fully avenged.
1 bag of Doritos and
1 bag of grapes served at Sarah Goaslind's place for a dinner group reunion.
2 beautiful b-day cakes.
1 unexpected gift
1 guac-dog consumed in the company of old friends
2.5 hours of swing dancing
= 24 is gonna be FaNtAsTiC!!!!
On a different note, I'm going to Hawaii this April. I have friends going, I have a wedding to attend, I have an excuse, I've always wanted to go, and here's me taking my lucky break. If any of you want to come along, let me know because I'm gonna hula dance, see a volcano, eat fresh pineapple, learn to surf, go scuba diving, eat wedding cake, and have a ball!!
6.5 phone calls from some of the people who matter most to me in the world.
2 slices of Kneader's French Toast (I know, I'm such a wuss for only being able to handle too... I'll blame old age)
2.5 hours Frisbee
.5 hours at the pool
1 wrath of James Castleton never fully avenged.
1 bag of Doritos and
1 bag of grapes served at Sarah Goaslind's place for a dinner group reunion.
2 beautiful b-day cakes.
1 unexpected gift
1 guac-dog consumed in the company of old friends
2.5 hours of swing dancing
= 24 is gonna be FaNtAsTiC!!!!
On a different note, I'm going to Hawaii this April. I have friends going, I have a wedding to attend, I have an excuse, I've always wanted to go, and here's me taking my lucky break. If any of you want to come along, let me know because I'm gonna hula dance, see a volcano, eat fresh pineapple, learn to surf, go scuba diving, eat wedding cake, and have a ball!!
Saturday, June 5, 2010
A Year in Review
Jumped out of a plane
Volunteered at an orphanage in Mexico
Bought a car and paid it off
Finished my first triathlon
Visited Florida and Idaho
Had my first kiss
Regretted my first kiss
Started a 401k
Attended the festival of colors
Learned to swing dance
Started voice lessons
Went through 8 out of 15 temples in Utah
Blew fire
Would have been nice to have "Fall in love" and "Get married" on this list but I guess there's always next year right?
Volunteered at an orphanage in Mexico
Bought a car and paid it off
Finished my first triathlon
Visited Florida and Idaho
Had my first kiss
Regretted my first kiss
Started a 401k
Attended the festival of colors
Learned to swing dance
Started voice lessons
Went through 8 out of 15 temples in Utah
Blew fire
Would have been nice to have "Fall in love" and "Get married" on this list but I guess there's always next year right?
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Three more days...
I've been feeling rather old as of late. I know its not true. However, I feel it just the same.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Wagons, tickle fights, and the ideal man
In all directions everything's green. Well, except for the flax. The purple and white heavily carpets sections of the woods. Everthing smells fragrant, fresh, and alive. You can hear the river rolling past but its too far into the dense forest for you to see from here. You wander down the blacktop trail with your three year old nephew laughing behind you. You swirl side to side, race and jolt, and his laughter is contagious. Moments like this make me really excited to be a mother.
My sisters, mom, and I had a tickle fight. Ages 46, 25, 23, 17. Yeah, we're very mature in the Schuler home.
Jessica asked me about my ideal man. I told her half the stuff on my list on one of my previous entries. She said "Jeff's right. You're too picky." OUCH....
My sisters, mom, and I had a tickle fight. Ages 46, 25, 23, 17. Yeah, we're very mature in the Schuler home.
Jessica asked me about my ideal man. I told her half the stuff on my list on one of my previous entries. She said "Jeff's right. You're too picky." OUCH....
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Ex-brother in laws and life's beautiful moments
Yesterday I took my dad to get cell phones for my family. He also changed our land-line phone number. He disconnected our current land-line phone number. I have seldom felt so afraid for my family in my entire life.
I don't want to go into a lot of details about the whys of my sister's divorce but here is a glimpse at my ex-brother in law's character and why he causes me to lose sleep at night.
1. He can't handle being wrong.
2. He has no regard for the law.
3. He has no grip on reality anymore. He has always been kind of a "conspiracy theorist" but its a lot more than that nowadays.
4. He is a desperate man. He has has no living parents. His wife and sons want nothing to do with him now. He is alone in the world and no matter who you are, this is a sad thing.
Jerry is out there trying to call my sister and it won't be long until he realizes that our home phone number has been disconnected. There's a queezy feeling in my gut that says he will decide the only way to convince Jennifer she's wrong about this divorce is to talk to her in person. My parents are convinced he won't have the motivation or means to travel out here but I don't agree with them.
He's a foot taller than my father, a BIG guy. He was in the military. My father has no guns, no security system. We can always call the police if he shows up but what good is the restraining order if he shows up with a gun... I'd appreciate any prayers on my families behalf. This situation has been nagging me for months but my fear has been more tangible since this afternoon when I learned we wouldn't be getting any more phone calls from Jerry...
Aside from my paranoia of my brother-in-law my trip home has been lovely. Everyone has been spoiling me and fighting for my time which is flattering in a weird sort of way. There have been so many beautiful little moments: Running with my mom, playing with my nephews, pampering Jennifer, staying up until 2am with Jessica, temple trip with dad.
Today in particular was beautiful. Deseret and I took her canoe to our island and we ate a score-cake for our B-days. The wind danced across the waves and wove through the long green grass which gave it a surreal appearance. Deep in the grass it felt like summer, all calm and sunshine. I made a dandelion crown. We watched the caterpillars creep down our legs. We ate and talked and laughed. It felt like time might freeze for us, just a moment, and we'd wake up and realize we were still a couple of high school kids spending another lazy afternoon at the lake.
In my life there are so many beautiful moments. I want to squeeze them each into a large glass jar and store them underneath my bed. I'd pull them out when my life is dark and frustrating and then escape in one of those beautiful moments. I'd forget all my troubles in the long swirling grass and sunshine, feel the calm and sunshine in my soul. If only...
I don't want to go into a lot of details about the whys of my sister's divorce but here is a glimpse at my ex-brother in law's character and why he causes me to lose sleep at night.
1. He can't handle being wrong.
2. He has no regard for the law.
3. He has no grip on reality anymore. He has always been kind of a "conspiracy theorist" but its a lot more than that nowadays.
4. He is a desperate man. He has has no living parents. His wife and sons want nothing to do with him now. He is alone in the world and no matter who you are, this is a sad thing.
Jerry is out there trying to call my sister and it won't be long until he realizes that our home phone number has been disconnected. There's a queezy feeling in my gut that says he will decide the only way to convince Jennifer she's wrong about this divorce is to talk to her in person. My parents are convinced he won't have the motivation or means to travel out here but I don't agree with them.
He's a foot taller than my father, a BIG guy. He was in the military. My father has no guns, no security system. We can always call the police if he shows up but what good is the restraining order if he shows up with a gun... I'd appreciate any prayers on my families behalf. This situation has been nagging me for months but my fear has been more tangible since this afternoon when I learned we wouldn't be getting any more phone calls from Jerry...
Aside from my paranoia of my brother-in-law my trip home has been lovely. Everyone has been spoiling me and fighting for my time which is flattering in a weird sort of way. There have been so many beautiful little moments: Running with my mom, playing with my nephews, pampering Jennifer, staying up until 2am with Jessica, temple trip with dad.
Today in particular was beautiful. Deseret and I took her canoe to our island and we ate a score-cake for our B-days. The wind danced across the waves and wove through the long green grass which gave it a surreal appearance. Deep in the grass it felt like summer, all calm and sunshine. I made a dandelion crown. We watched the caterpillars creep down our legs. We ate and talked and laughed. It felt like time might freeze for us, just a moment, and we'd wake up and realize we were still a couple of high school kids spending another lazy afternoon at the lake.
In my life there are so many beautiful moments. I want to squeeze them each into a large glass jar and store them underneath my bed. I'd pull them out when my life is dark and frustrating and then escape in one of those beautiful moments. I'd forget all my troubles in the long swirling grass and sunshine, feel the calm and sunshine in my soul. If only...
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
The chain, Sampsa, MN, lab poetry
I have "The Chain" by Ingrid Michaelson stuck in my head. Its such a lovely, soothing song. It makes me want to Viennese waltz or at the very least twirl across the room.
Yesterday was really random. My second cousin from Finland was in town and I shuttled him around so he could see what Utah has to offer. The original plan was to show him around SLC and tour Timpanogous caves. Instead I searched for him at the mall for 45 min, raced in the rain but didn't make it to the Timp caves in time, and hiked up Bridal Veil falls in the rain. Still a lot of fun but not as epic as it was supposed to be. Oh well. It was my week on so I at least have an excuse.
So I made it to MN. Its so good to be home. Being around my nephews makes me REALLY wish I had kids of my own. Seeing my sister doing so well despite her unfortunate situation is a relief since I worry about her far more than she realizes. Jessica is practically grown up now which is weird to me. My parents are both their usual selves. I'm so excited to spend time with Deseret. Yeah, life is good.
Heres a poem I wrote about work while at work the other night. They have temporarily taken away our internet at work so this was one of the ways I kept myself awake on Tuesday night.
pSHHH... errr, tsh tsh tsh, clicka clicka clicka, beep
Tap, snap, chunka, thump,
whir, purr, hum, rumble, ERRK, GRIND, EEEEE!
An abrupt halt to your robotic lullabye
Your Night-dreams stir
Fresh gloves snap on
Its time to work your thunder.
You look deep inside a mechanical soul
Searching for answers
Tipping, shifting, lifting
Wheels and gears, tubes and slides,
They seem to dance in perfect harmony.
The reinitialize.
All appears well.
But in your heart you know the soul is broken
Without a healing hands it will fester and maim
Until its broken frame shuts down like a striken beast.
Unable to take another step.
Yesterday was really random. My second cousin from Finland was in town and I shuttled him around so he could see what Utah has to offer. The original plan was to show him around SLC and tour Timpanogous caves. Instead I searched for him at the mall for 45 min, raced in the rain but didn't make it to the Timp caves in time, and hiked up Bridal Veil falls in the rain. Still a lot of fun but not as epic as it was supposed to be. Oh well. It was my week on so I at least have an excuse.
So I made it to MN. Its so good to be home. Being around my nephews makes me REALLY wish I had kids of my own. Seeing my sister doing so well despite her unfortunate situation is a relief since I worry about her far more than she realizes. Jessica is practically grown up now which is weird to me. My parents are both their usual selves. I'm so excited to spend time with Deseret. Yeah, life is good.
Heres a poem I wrote about work while at work the other night. They have temporarily taken away our internet at work so this was one of the ways I kept myself awake on Tuesday night.
pSHHH... errr, tsh tsh tsh, clicka clicka clicka, beep
Tap, snap, chunka, thump,
whir, purr, hum, rumble, ERRK, GRIND, EEEEE!
An abrupt halt to your robotic lullabye
Your Night-dreams stir
Fresh gloves snap on
Its time to work your thunder.
You look deep inside a mechanical soul
Searching for answers
Tipping, shifting, lifting
Wheels and gears, tubes and slides,
They seem to dance in perfect harmony.
The reinitialize.
All appears well.
But in your heart you know the soul is broken
Without a healing hands it will fester and maim
Until its broken frame shuts down like a striken beast.
Unable to take another step.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Testimony of the Book of Mormon
For my brother Jonathan's b-day I am sending him argyle socks and a Book of Mormon with my testimony in it. I figured as a missionary he would enjoy being able to give someone a copy of the Book of Mormon with a testimony in it from someone he loves. As I finished copying it into the book, I decided I'd post my testimony here as well.
I want to bear my testimony that the Book of Mormon is the word of God. Joseph Smith translated it by the power of God. It was written by prophets of the ancient Americas as another witness that Jesus is the Christ.
Our loving Heavenly Father cares about you. He knows your hearts deepest desires, your strengths, your weaknesses, and your potential. He wants you to be successful and happy. More than anything He wants each of us to be able to share eternal life with Him.
In John 3:16 it reads that “God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Jesus Christ offered Himself as an eternal sacrifice to overcome death and sin. The atonement of Jesus Christ gives us access to power beyond our own to overcome our weaknesses, to repent, to change. We can be healed, become clean, become whole. Through the power of the atonement we can prepare ourselves to meet our God.
Reading The Book of Mormon is one of the many ways I feel I have come to know my Savior better. All of the prophets, despite their differences in age, personality, and situation, all testified of the tender mercies of the Lord and bare witness that Jesus is the Christ. I know their teachings are true. I feel the peace and comfort of the Spirit of the Lord when I study the Book of Mormon.
In Moroni 10:3-5, it says that “when ye shall read these things… I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, I these things are not true… And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.” I know that if you prayerfully read the Book of Mormon and ask God to know if its true, that you will be able to receive your own witness of the Book of Mormon.
God be with you,
Jill Schuler
I want to bear my testimony that the Book of Mormon is the word of God. Joseph Smith translated it by the power of God. It was written by prophets of the ancient Americas as another witness that Jesus is the Christ.
Our loving Heavenly Father cares about you. He knows your hearts deepest desires, your strengths, your weaknesses, and your potential. He wants you to be successful and happy. More than anything He wants each of us to be able to share eternal life with Him.
In John 3:16 it reads that “God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Jesus Christ offered Himself as an eternal sacrifice to overcome death and sin. The atonement of Jesus Christ gives us access to power beyond our own to overcome our weaknesses, to repent, to change. We can be healed, become clean, become whole. Through the power of the atonement we can prepare ourselves to meet our God.
Reading The Book of Mormon is one of the many ways I feel I have come to know my Savior better. All of the prophets, despite their differences in age, personality, and situation, all testified of the tender mercies of the Lord and bare witness that Jesus is the Christ. I know their teachings are true. I feel the peace and comfort of the Spirit of the Lord when I study the Book of Mormon.
In Moroni 10:3-5, it says that “when ye shall read these things… I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, I these things are not true… And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.” I know that if you prayerfully read the Book of Mormon and ask God to know if its true, that you will be able to receive your own witness of the Book of Mormon.
God be with you,
Jill Schuler
Friday, May 14, 2010
Work, doodling, and poetry
So, this is my rant about how they turned our internet off at work for the next few days. I can see how during the busy times of the day that coworkers shouldn't be playing Farmville or planning vacations. Times when there are interns around. That makes sense. However, at 1am when there is NOTHING going on it would be nice to check my e-mail. Just sayin'.
Since this blog is mainly here for me to express myself, I thought I'd share some of my favorite drawings and a poem I wrote recently. I have all of these in color in my room but I'm too lazy to scan the final products...
These three are some of my favorites... Ironically, I drew all of them to express one frustration or another that I'd been having with dating.
Rapunzel hesitates. Her hair is long enough. He seems charming enough. He's already climbed a tree and is declaring his passion in order to woo her, win her, persuade her to let down her hair. However, she's so safe in her tower. Will it end happily ever after or with trials and suffering. In this fairytale, it ends with both which I is why I was drawn to draw the Rapunzel in the first place.
Wall flower. I drew this one as the last of my original Apt 55 roommates was getting engaged. I have had many moments in my life where I feel like everyone is off living my dream and I'm still stuck in Limbo land... I mean Provo. Some things are worth waiting for but it doesn't make it easier to watch. Someday I'll make it to the dance floor...
I drew this one after a particularly bad break up. I have quite a few drawings I've done with merpeople, most of which are a little more optimistic (more based off of the Little Mermaid fairytale). However, this is more of a "Mermaids seem beautiful and then they drag you down to the bottom of the sea".
Finally, here are some poems I wrote recently at Poetry Club. I'm not much of a poet but I figure practice makes perfect.
I set the milk on the counter and shut the refrigerator door.
I notice they're staring at me.
Well, some of them.
Others are gazing into each others' eyes, lost in their own little world.
Holding hands, whispering sweet nothings into their sweetheart's ear.
All of them smiling. Always smiling.
Knowing their reality is better than their dreams
Their lives are full of magic, all is beautiful.
Their perfect joy captured in a photo,
Like the dozens of photos that greet me each morning
As I drown my frosted mini-spooners...
And I'm out of milk... ::sigh::
The best way to chop the emense charcoaled log was to throw it off a thirty foot sandstone cliff.
At least thats the way it appeared.
The two lumbered slowly to the highest peak
Shifting and skidding with sand filled shoes
With log raised high
And a mighty warrior's cry
The blakened timber flew threw the air
Soared, spiraled, and...
The stump didn't so much as splinter
Leaving not but a sooty mark on the rusty rocks.
At that moement savegery struck.
Darkened hands donned the signs of warriors
Ebony stripes crossed heathen cheeks
Crumbling chuncks of cedar create
Epic battles, lightning strikes,
Swirling smoke round a roaring fire
Beating, thundering, bursting from the stone.
A petrogliff is worth a thousand words.
There it is.
A horrendous mountain.
A smelly eyesore by your bedside.
You've tried to ignore it
Pretend you don't want to wear your favorite blouse.
Pretend that you're not down to two pairs of socks.
However, you can pretend no longer
It has to go.
You awkwardly amble down the stairs,
Hoping all the good machines aren't taken.
Dark side versus light side.
Thick bloo goo that smells like an Irish spring globs to the bottom of the washer.
A dollar later tha machine is working its magic.
Sudsing and swirling in a vicious vortex of towels, t-shirts, and jeans
Later you aid a soggy migration to a warmer climate.
The rumbling, tumbling, tossing, and turning lightens until at last you unload.
Hot, steamy, fresh, delicious.
It makes you think of warm blankets on a stormy night,
The crisp clean air of a summer rain,
Teddy bears in creepy commercials?...
Pressed, folded, stowed away.
All is in order.
For two weeks, anyways.
Since this blog is mainly here for me to express myself, I thought I'd share some of my favorite drawings and a poem I wrote recently. I have all of these in color in my room but I'm too lazy to scan the final products...
These three are some of my favorites... Ironically, I drew all of them to express one frustration or another that I'd been having with dating.
Rapunzel hesitates. Her hair is long enough. He seems charming enough. He's already climbed a tree and is declaring his passion in order to woo her, win her, persuade her to let down her hair. However, she's so safe in her tower. Will it end happily ever after or with trials and suffering. In this fairytale, it ends with both which I is why I was drawn to draw the Rapunzel in the first place.
Wall flower. I drew this one as the last of my original Apt 55 roommates was getting engaged. I have had many moments in my life where I feel like everyone is off living my dream and I'm still stuck in Limbo land... I mean Provo. Some things are worth waiting for but it doesn't make it easier to watch. Someday I'll make it to the dance floor...
I drew this one after a particularly bad break up. I have quite a few drawings I've done with merpeople, most of which are a little more optimistic (more based off of the Little Mermaid fairytale). However, this is more of a "Mermaids seem beautiful and then they drag you down to the bottom of the sea".
Finally, here are some poems I wrote recently at Poetry Club. I'm not much of a poet but I figure practice makes perfect.
I set the milk on the counter and shut the refrigerator door.
I notice they're staring at me.
Well, some of them.
Others are gazing into each others' eyes, lost in their own little world.
Holding hands, whispering sweet nothings into their sweetheart's ear.
All of them smiling. Always smiling.
Knowing their reality is better than their dreams
Their lives are full of magic, all is beautiful.
Their perfect joy captured in a photo,
Like the dozens of photos that greet me each morning
As I drown my frosted mini-spooners...
And I'm out of milk... ::sigh::
The best way to chop the emense charcoaled log was to throw it off a thirty foot sandstone cliff.
At least thats the way it appeared.
The two lumbered slowly to the highest peak
Shifting and skidding with sand filled shoes
With log raised high
And a mighty warrior's cry
The blakened timber flew threw the air
Soared, spiraled, and...
The stump didn't so much as splinter
Leaving not but a sooty mark on the rusty rocks.
At that moement savegery struck.
Darkened hands donned the signs of warriors
Ebony stripes crossed heathen cheeks
Crumbling chuncks of cedar create
Epic battles, lightning strikes,
Swirling smoke round a roaring fire
Beating, thundering, bursting from the stone.
A petrogliff is worth a thousand words.
There it is.
A horrendous mountain.
A smelly eyesore by your bedside.
You've tried to ignore it
Pretend you don't want to wear your favorite blouse.
Pretend that you're not down to two pairs of socks.
However, you can pretend no longer
It has to go.
You awkwardly amble down the stairs,
Hoping all the good machines aren't taken.
Dark side versus light side.
Thick bloo goo that smells like an Irish spring globs to the bottom of the washer.
A dollar later tha machine is working its magic.
Sudsing and swirling in a vicious vortex of towels, t-shirts, and jeans
Later you aid a soggy migration to a warmer climate.
The rumbling, tumbling, tossing, and turning lightens until at last you unload.
Hot, steamy, fresh, delicious.
It makes you think of warm blankets on a stormy night,
The crisp clean air of a summer rain,
Teddy bears in creepy commercials?...
Pressed, folded, stowed away.
All is in order.
For two weeks, anyways.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
The Ideal Man
One of those things I'm posting just because I can. There is a "Vice Versa" after every point. I can't expect my ideal man to want a wife who isn't striving to live up to the same standards.
1. Following Jesus Christ is my life's top priority. It will ALWAYS come before ANYTHING else, whether that's family, relationships, work, etc. I NEED someone who feels the same way. No exceptions. This includes magnifying church callings, being (or takings steps to become) temple worthy, and recieving personal revelation.
2. God comes first and our relationship comes second over family, work, etc.
3. Good communication thats ALWAYS HONEST WITH NO EXCEPTIONS. I want to know that he can tell me anything. I feel like I'm able to grow faster when the people I care about give me feedback on ways to improve. He can handle criticism, is a good listener, values my opinions even when they differ from his, and is willing to talk through things to find a good comprimise.
4. He knows my strengths, weaknesses, quirks, habits, mannerisms, etc., the real me and loves the whole package. Someone with whom I always feel like I can completely be myself around and that he feels the same way.
5. He brings out the best in me. He loves me as I am, but also see's my potential and inspires me to reach it.
6. Work ethic. He sets goals and doesn't just wait for life to happen. He wants to be better, go places, do things, learn things, live life. All this is done while remembering his priorities (recall item 1. and 2.) I'm a fairly active, adventurous, "go get-er done" sort of person and I needs someone with a similar drive.
7. He shows me that he loves me on a frequent and regular basis. I don't need anything big, extravagent, or expensive. It should just be in the little things. Things like telling me I'm beautiful, picking dandelions for me, giving me a really good hug, etc. We each have our different love languages. Mine are physical touch and quality time. He'll make sure that he communicates his love in a way effective to meeting my needs.
8. Positive, happy, makes me laugh. Life won't always be sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows, but its easier to handle the storms when you're with someone who looks for the silver linings. The world should feel like a more beautiful place because he's in it with me.
9. Compassionate, kind, caring. Someone who is anxious to serve others, desires to help others whether or not he'll get any sort of recognition. Cares about people more than money, ambitions, etc.
10. Men and Women's roles are different but equal. Men are the providers, women are the nurturers. However, in addition to this we are a team. We have our responsibilities but are willing to pick up the slack. Neither one of us is comfortable watching the other work and struggle without doing what we can to pitch in and help.
11. Financially smart. He doesn't have to earn much but he has to be smart with what he does have. He won't expect me to be his "suga mamma".
12. Chemistry. I want there to be a certain magic, a connection, for things to click. When we're finally married I want to wake up in the morning, see him on the other side of the bed and think "I'm the luckiest woman in the world to be with him forever." An addiction, a desire to be with him all the time, to share with him the things I think are most important. Its a lot more than a physical thing. You may argue there are more important things but the way I see it, I only get one.
1. Following Jesus Christ is my life's top priority. It will ALWAYS come before ANYTHING else, whether that's family, relationships, work, etc. I NEED someone who feels the same way. No exceptions. This includes magnifying church callings, being (or takings steps to become) temple worthy, and recieving personal revelation.
2. God comes first and our relationship comes second over family, work, etc.
3. Good communication thats ALWAYS HONEST WITH NO EXCEPTIONS. I want to know that he can tell me anything. I feel like I'm able to grow faster when the people I care about give me feedback on ways to improve. He can handle criticism, is a good listener, values my opinions even when they differ from his, and is willing to talk through things to find a good comprimise.
4. He knows my strengths, weaknesses, quirks, habits, mannerisms, etc., the real me and loves the whole package. Someone with whom I always feel like I can completely be myself around and that he feels the same way.
5. He brings out the best in me. He loves me as I am, but also see's my potential and inspires me to reach it.
6. Work ethic. He sets goals and doesn't just wait for life to happen. He wants to be better, go places, do things, learn things, live life. All this is done while remembering his priorities (recall item 1. and 2.) I'm a fairly active, adventurous, "go get-er done" sort of person and I needs someone with a similar drive.
7. He shows me that he loves me on a frequent and regular basis. I don't need anything big, extravagent, or expensive. It should just be in the little things. Things like telling me I'm beautiful, picking dandelions for me, giving me a really good hug, etc. We each have our different love languages. Mine are physical touch and quality time. He'll make sure that he communicates his love in a way effective to meeting my needs.
8. Positive, happy, makes me laugh. Life won't always be sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows, but its easier to handle the storms when you're with someone who looks for the silver linings. The world should feel like a more beautiful place because he's in it with me.
9. Compassionate, kind, caring. Someone who is anxious to serve others, desires to help others whether or not he'll get any sort of recognition. Cares about people more than money, ambitions, etc.
10. Men and Women's roles are different but equal. Men are the providers, women are the nurturers. However, in addition to this we are a team. We have our responsibilities but are willing to pick up the slack. Neither one of us is comfortable watching the other work and struggle without doing what we can to pitch in and help.
11. Financially smart. He doesn't have to earn much but he has to be smart with what he does have. He won't expect me to be his "suga mamma".
12. Chemistry. I want there to be a certain magic, a connection, for things to click. When we're finally married I want to wake up in the morning, see him on the other side of the bed and think "I'm the luckiest woman in the world to be with him forever." An addiction, a desire to be with him all the time, to share with him the things I think are most important. Its a lot more than a physical thing. You may argue there are more important things but the way I see it, I only get one.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Kumquat! Say that ten times fast
I feel like I've slacked off on this whole blogging thing... Well, theres not better time to seize the day... night, than the present!
Have you tried a Kumquat? If you haven't you ought to, at least once. For starters, they're such a beautiful, vibrant little fruit. Imagine a clementine orange shrunk to the size of a grape and thats basically what it looks like. However, the striking thing about a kumquat is the flavor. You pop one into your mouth and its bitter, acidic, sour, like a lemon. As you chew it a sweet, subtle flavor develops and you almost forget how intense the first bite is. I don't think I'll buy kumquats frequently, especially since they're a little pricey, but they're definitely worth trying at least once. Yummmm...
Have you tried a Kumquat? If you haven't you ought to, at least once. For starters, they're such a beautiful, vibrant little fruit. Imagine a clementine orange shrunk to the size of a grape and thats basically what it looks like. However, the striking thing about a kumquat is the flavor. You pop one into your mouth and its bitter, acidic, sour, like a lemon. As you chew it a sweet, subtle flavor develops and you almost forget how intense the first bite is. I don't think I'll buy kumquats frequently, especially since they're a little pricey, but they're definitely worth trying at least once. Yummmm...
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Mother Bear
Do any of you ever emotionally enter "mother bear" mode. Mother Bear Mode = when you want to literally anhilate everything thats preventing the ones you love from being happy. Its the feeling I get in my gut when I learn that my sister's ex-husband has called her again (despite the restraining order). When I hear about the reasons for a friends broken off engagement. When I hear of unrequitted affections. Of betrayals. Of loneliness. I am perfectly capable of bridling my passions but sometimes I wish I could disregard my better judgment and do something to try to fix these problem.
As of late I've been thinking about why God has some people go through particular trials and not others. I know God has a plan for us. I know that we aren't going to suffer in this life needlessly, especially if we trust in the Lord and follow his commandments. However, my heart still aches because I can't make everything better.... I guess I'll just have to keep watching and waiting and someday everything will make sense.
As of late I've been thinking about why God has some people go through particular trials and not others. I know God has a plan for us. I know that we aren't going to suffer in this life needlessly, especially if we trust in the Lord and follow his commandments. However, my heart still aches because I can't make everything better.... I guess I'll just have to keep watching and waiting and someday everything will make sense.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Talk about Stalking 101
Today my coworker showed me this website called Spokeo.com. Kinda weirded me out. Tried searching Jill Schuler. Apparently I'm a married 40 year old woman with kids still living with my parents in Minnesota. I also have young grandchildren, enjoy coin collecting, baseball, and interior design... One might be inclined to think this information was about my mother, but she has her own profile... If I searched with my e-mail address a different set of information showed up. Apparently most of that information came from this blog which startled me.
I like the idea of keeping this blog public amongst people I already know. Its set up so that the only way you can find it is if you already know where it is. That information is only publicly displayed on facebook with a "friends only" guard. I'm fine with the idea of someone I already know on a whim discovering the blog from facebook, taking a peak, getting a real glimpse of the sort of person I am. Its not like I'm ashamed of anything I've ever said on my blog... There are things relating to my personal life which will never appear on this blog (family issues, certain specifics about my dating life, etc) but I like being fairly open about things. Its kind of therapeutic to throw ideas into the great void of my blog knowing that someone someday might read it and understand the real Jill Schuler.
This still doesn't stop me from being uneasy about my information floating around on this Spokei website. Maybe I'm just paranoid. Its not like half the information was accurate... Still, its the principle of the thing...
I like the idea of keeping this blog public amongst people I already know. Its set up so that the only way you can find it is if you already know where it is. That information is only publicly displayed on facebook with a "friends only" guard. I'm fine with the idea of someone I already know on a whim discovering the blog from facebook, taking a peak, getting a real glimpse of the sort of person I am. Its not like I'm ashamed of anything I've ever said on my blog... There are things relating to my personal life which will never appear on this blog (family issues, certain specifics about my dating life, etc) but I like being fairly open about things. Its kind of therapeutic to throw ideas into the great void of my blog knowing that someone someday might read it and understand the real Jill Schuler.
This still doesn't stop me from being uneasy about my information floating around on this Spokei website. Maybe I'm just paranoid. Its not like half the information was accurate... Still, its the principle of the thing...
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Hair cuts and lassoing the moon
I got my hair cut today. There's a slight A line and the layers brush a little past my shoulders. Stephanie Tenney did a really good job. I asked people on facebook what I should do with my hair and some people suggested shaving it off. My dad shaved his head once and got a lot of comments about how he had a good head for shaving. Maybe its genetic?... I don't think I'd ever intentionally do it, but its comforting to know if I got cancer or something I'd be able to do it lookin' soooo good.
I really need to figure out what I want. I'm over my previously mentioned infatuation. I'm being pursued from more than one direction but I've become a little cautious... Not that I haven't ever been cautious before but more than I used to be.
For now, I'm signing out. I'll dream of what I know I want. A man who'd lasso the moon so I could swallow it and moon beams would shoot out from my eyes and finger tips. A man that can be completely honest with me. A man who can work, play, make me laugh, make me feel beautiful. A man who's crazy about me. A man who understands my strengths and weaknesses and loves me anyways, who makes me believe I can be my best self. Goodnight my someone, whoever you are.
I really need to figure out what I want. I'm over my previously mentioned infatuation. I'm being pursued from more than one direction but I've become a little cautious... Not that I haven't ever been cautious before but more than I used to be.
For now, I'm signing out. I'll dream of what I know I want. A man who'd lasso the moon so I could swallow it and moon beams would shoot out from my eyes and finger tips. A man that can be completely honest with me. A man who can work, play, make me laugh, make me feel beautiful. A man who's crazy about me. A man who understands my strengths and weaknesses and loves me anyways, who makes me believe I can be my best self. Goodnight my someone, whoever you are.
Monday, March 29, 2010
I must be hungry
So I'm number 116 on the hold list for "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs" at the Provo Library. Sometimes its hard to be Jill. I put about 15 things on hold so hopefully somethings will show up sooner rather than later.
I recently realized that Samoas are about $0.25 a pop. Its too bad their so delicious or I'd never fork over the cash to buy them. The little girl on the front of the box is so cute too. Who could say no to a kid with a face like that.
I recently realized that Samoas are about $0.25 a pop. Its too bad their so delicious or I'd never fork over the cash to buy them. The little girl on the front of the box is so cute too. Who could say no to a kid with a face like that.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Testimony
Here is the testimony that I didn't get around to bearing in church.
As of late, I've been undergoing a lot of maladies. In retrospect, I realized that all of them in their own unique ways parallel my testimony of the atonement of the Savior and things I ought to be doing to better apply it in my life.
-I went on a run down Indian Road and got lost. At one point the trail was steeper and rockier than I realized and I rolled my ankle. I could tell I had done a number to my knee and that my hip was bruised but I decided after a certain point I just needed to get up and keep running. I didn't notice how bad things were until I sat down in the car and noticed I'd torn the knee of my favorite pair of running pants. I rolled them up and was astonished at the bloody, inflamed mess. I rinsed it off with soap and water, but it wasn't until I used alcohol wipes did it stop threatening infection. The alcohol was painful, sending a firey sting across my entire leg, but the next day the swelling finally started to go down.
-My allergies were going crazy. I had blown my nose so frequently that I started having nose bleeds. I tried to convince myself it was a one day thing but it happened the following night and I finally decided it had to stop. I took my Clariten and hardly an hour later I could breath again. Even at work, where the air quality is particularly bad, my nose stayed clean. No nose bleeds, no congestion, nothing.
-I had been puking all day. My body ached, my temperature feverish, physically exhausted, famished but unable to keep anything down, rather miserable. I avoid taking medication at almost all cost but I finally decided it was time to take 2 Ibuprofin. Not long later I was able to down a few crackers and finally drift off to sleep.
I think far too often I find myself trying to make things all right. I am a strong beautiful woman of the 21st century. They say you can do anything you put your mind to and I'm often amazed at all of the things I'm able to accomplish when I do so. However, sometimes this train of thought goes too extreme. I'm running down a path with a festering wound, I'm losing blood, I can't breath, I'm starving, exhausted, dying. I keep telling myself that I shouldn't be weak, that my body needs to do what I want it to. It'll heal itself. At the most I need is a little time but I don't need anyone or anything else.
The thing is that we have the atonement. I may be frustrated with my weaknesses, my emotions, my inability to do everything I feel I should be able to, but nobody is able to execute all that with perfection. The only person to ever do so suffered, died, and overcame so that we wouldn't have to do things on our own. He is the elixir of life. He is the medicine, the Balm of Gilead. If I stopped fussing, admitted that I need something more, and actually applied the atonement more readily, I wouldn't spend so long being completely miserable and invalid.
He can heal my soul. Why am I still letting myself spiritually fester, bleed, and puke?
As of late, I've been undergoing a lot of maladies. In retrospect, I realized that all of them in their own unique ways parallel my testimony of the atonement of the Savior and things I ought to be doing to better apply it in my life.
-I went on a run down Indian Road and got lost. At one point the trail was steeper and rockier than I realized and I rolled my ankle. I could tell I had done a number to my knee and that my hip was bruised but I decided after a certain point I just needed to get up and keep running. I didn't notice how bad things were until I sat down in the car and noticed I'd torn the knee of my favorite pair of running pants. I rolled them up and was astonished at the bloody, inflamed mess. I rinsed it off with soap and water, but it wasn't until I used alcohol wipes did it stop threatening infection. The alcohol was painful, sending a firey sting across my entire leg, but the next day the swelling finally started to go down.
-My allergies were going crazy. I had blown my nose so frequently that I started having nose bleeds. I tried to convince myself it was a one day thing but it happened the following night and I finally decided it had to stop. I took my Clariten and hardly an hour later I could breath again. Even at work, where the air quality is particularly bad, my nose stayed clean. No nose bleeds, no congestion, nothing.
-I had been puking all day. My body ached, my temperature feverish, physically exhausted, famished but unable to keep anything down, rather miserable. I avoid taking medication at almost all cost but I finally decided it was time to take 2 Ibuprofin. Not long later I was able to down a few crackers and finally drift off to sleep.
I think far too often I find myself trying to make things all right. I am a strong beautiful woman of the 21st century. They say you can do anything you put your mind to and I'm often amazed at all of the things I'm able to accomplish when I do so. However, sometimes this train of thought goes too extreme. I'm running down a path with a festering wound, I'm losing blood, I can't breath, I'm starving, exhausted, dying. I keep telling myself that I shouldn't be weak, that my body needs to do what I want it to. It'll heal itself. At the most I need is a little time but I don't need anyone or anything else.
The thing is that we have the atonement. I may be frustrated with my weaknesses, my emotions, my inability to do everything I feel I should be able to, but nobody is able to execute all that with perfection. The only person to ever do so suffered, died, and overcame so that we wouldn't have to do things on our own. He is the elixir of life. He is the medicine, the Balm of Gilead. If I stopped fussing, admitted that I need something more, and actually applied the atonement more readily, I wouldn't spend so long being completely miserable and invalid.
He can heal my soul. Why am I still letting myself spiritually fester, bleed, and puke?
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Criminal Activity
It feels like the sort of night one ought to participate in criminal activity. I'm dressed in my black and white striped shirt. The night is cool, dark, hushed. There is a stirring of a breeze and my heart feels restless. It shifts and skirts uneasily. It has for the last few weeks but on an evening like tonight when its so painfully quiet that you want to scream, break the calm, unleash the wild, passionate beast within. You reach that point when you need to do something out of the ordinary, reckless, potentially illegal.
Its the sort of night I'd go rob the MOA. I'd use a glass cutter and slice through the doors. I'd slip through past the gift shop full of posters, scented pens and Monet umbrellas. I'd stealthily glide through the shadows until I found something that struck my fancy. Its been a while since I've been to the MOA. I haven't seen anything except for the flaming mustache. I could steal the flaming mustache. That seems an appropriate sort of crime for a sinister individual like myself. Besides, mustaches are a mar to society. Why should BYU celebrate art that celebrates an atrocity like a mustache.
It would make an interesting movie to have an aspiring artist steal their own painting from a museum and then somehow have it anonymously recovered in hopes that it would get their art to lay claim to fame and fortune. This would be the perfect night for such a crime.
Its Thursday Night and I didn't dance, didn't play frisbee. I went to a service activity and listened to a lady talk about her health and nieces.
Its the sort of night I'd go rob the MOA. I'd use a glass cutter and slice through the doors. I'd slip through past the gift shop full of posters, scented pens and Monet umbrellas. I'd stealthily glide through the shadows until I found something that struck my fancy. Its been a while since I've been to the MOA. I haven't seen anything except for the flaming mustache. I could steal the flaming mustache. That seems an appropriate sort of crime for a sinister individual like myself. Besides, mustaches are a mar to society. Why should BYU celebrate art that celebrates an atrocity like a mustache.
It would make an interesting movie to have an aspiring artist steal their own painting from a museum and then somehow have it anonymously recovered in hopes that it would get their art to lay claim to fame and fortune. This would be the perfect night for such a crime.
Its Thursday Night and I didn't dance, didn't play frisbee. I went to a service activity and listened to a lady talk about her health and nieces.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
A Heart Full of Song, I'm Doing Everything All Wrong...
Music has always been a big part of my life. My mom taught piano, my dad is a classical music buff, I grew up in a total musical immersion. After all the violin, singing, piano, listening, I agree with the philosophy that sometimes you feel something so powerful you have to "sing what can't be said". Here are some music moments I've had recently that I thought I'd share.
"It takes a moment to fall in love, but I lifetime to learn what love is." -Jason Mraz
The tune is mediocre but I love the lyrics. I heard it for the first time on my run and replayed it two more times just so I could focus on the lyrics.
"This is how it works, you peer inside yourself, take the things you like and try to love the things you took and then you take that love you made and stick it into someone elses heart pumping someone elses blood." -Regina Spektor
I wish I could sing/play like Regina. I've lost count of how many times I've listened to "On the Radio" and the music video for "Fidelity".
"I love love. I love being in love, I don't care what it does to me." They played that song in the play I saw tonight. Its one of those happy, catchy, pick me up songs that I enjoy getting stuck in my head.
"Look how she lights up the sky, Ma belle Evangeline." Deseret got the Princess and the Frog for her birthday and I realized earlier this week how much I like that song. I wonder if I've ever "lit up the room" by entering it or smiling.
"Don't hold your breath til your face turns blue.
Its time to accept that he's not that into you.
Don't keep holding on til your old and gray.
Lifes already too short so stop wasting away.
Count all the stars in the sky until the morning's light
Go out and dance in the rain until the sun will shine
Step out from the darkness, wake up and open your eyes.
Face your life one step at a time.
You're all alone and you're feeling green
Wishin', prayin', hopin' for what might have, could have been.
Just keep on believing, keep on standing strong.
You hit the ground runnin' girl and then your gone.
chorus
Sometimes my heart bleeds like the dawn, red across the horizon.
Sometimes I want to break down and cry.
Just keep on breathing, keep on believing that someone will find you, someone will love you.
Someday soon you'll see the sun will rise.
We'll count all the stars in the sky until the morning's light
Go out and dance in the rain and I will hold you tight
I see my whole world when I see that look in your eyes
Livin' life one step at a time.
Don't hold your breath til your face turns blue.
Open your eyes and inhale."
I don't write a lot of music and I don't ever perform for other people, but this is one of the songs I've written. It seems to be a recurring theme in my life. Someday I may figure out enough piano or guitar to find an accompaniment for the tune... for now I feel at least comfortable enough to share the lyrics.
Well, that's all for now. Now for some light reading before I go to bed.
"It takes a moment to fall in love, but I lifetime to learn what love is." -Jason Mraz
The tune is mediocre but I love the lyrics. I heard it for the first time on my run and replayed it two more times just so I could focus on the lyrics.
"This is how it works, you peer inside yourself, take the things you like and try to love the things you took and then you take that love you made and stick it into someone elses heart pumping someone elses blood." -Regina Spektor
I wish I could sing/play like Regina. I've lost count of how many times I've listened to "On the Radio" and the music video for "Fidelity".
"I love love. I love being in love, I don't care what it does to me." They played that song in the play I saw tonight. Its one of those happy, catchy, pick me up songs that I enjoy getting stuck in my head.
"Look how she lights up the sky, Ma belle Evangeline." Deseret got the Princess and the Frog for her birthday and I realized earlier this week how much I like that song. I wonder if I've ever "lit up the room" by entering it or smiling.
"Don't hold your breath til your face turns blue.
Its time to accept that he's not that into you.
Don't keep holding on til your old and gray.
Lifes already too short so stop wasting away.
Count all the stars in the sky until the morning's light
Go out and dance in the rain until the sun will shine
Step out from the darkness, wake up and open your eyes.
Face your life one step at a time.
You're all alone and you're feeling green
Wishin', prayin', hopin' for what might have, could have been.
Just keep on believing, keep on standing strong.
You hit the ground runnin' girl and then your gone.
chorus
Sometimes my heart bleeds like the dawn, red across the horizon.
Sometimes I want to break down and cry.
Just keep on breathing, keep on believing that someone will find you, someone will love you.
Someday soon you'll see the sun will rise.
We'll count all the stars in the sky until the morning's light
Go out and dance in the rain and I will hold you tight
I see my whole world when I see that look in your eyes
Livin' life one step at a time.
Don't hold your breath til your face turns blue.
Open your eyes and inhale."
I don't write a lot of music and I don't ever perform for other people, but this is one of the songs I've written. It seems to be a recurring theme in my life. Someday I may figure out enough piano or guitar to find an accompaniment for the tune... for now I feel at least comfortable enough to share the lyrics.
Well, that's all for now. Now for some light reading before I go to bed.
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