Last night I played violin in a performance of Handel's Messiah. I had a lot of fun although I was absolutely exhausted afterwards. It wasn't because I hadn't gotten enough sleep mind you (99% of the time, thats the case). I ate lunch at 1pm and they'd told me to expect dinner and they didn't provide so I didn't get dinner until after the show at 7:30pm. People said we did a good job but I feel like I could have done 10 times better if I'd had some food in my system for the final performance.
I've basically decided I need to go to Utah Lake today. Do you have a place you can go to think and where everything becomes clear? One of those places for me is the lake. Its not a particularly impressive spot, the water is murky, the wildlife kind of lacking on a winter day like today. However, I feel like its a place where I'm truly myself. Well, not that I'm not myself other places, but its the sort of place that I can't help but be myself. Its effortless. Its like breathing deep from your belly, full and wide the way a baby does as it sleeps. Its like when your driving home in the car by yourself and you sing out the windows knowing no one will really hear you. You have no fears, no reservations, you just belt out the yearnings you've hidden deep within your soul. Its like sprinting across an empty field and you're completely exposed but there is no one else to see you racing, leaping, sprinting, or tumbling on the cool dewy grass in your bare feet. I hope all of you have a place like that. I hope all of you know what its like to skip rocks across the water, feel the wind whipping through your hair, watch the light dance across the waves as if the stars themselves were caught in the ebbing tide.
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