My Dream Job

They POSTED IT!!! YAY!!!! It took what, 3 weeks, but I'm glad they didn't forget me after all.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Awkward Hugs

For starters, I'm visiting home right now and it is glorious. Life in Provo is good but home is likewise good, just in highly concentrated doses. It makes me happy, the sort of happy that is refreshing, full, and deep like a drag of ice water after a run. You don't realize how much you needed it until the glass is almost empty.

However, this blog entry isn't about the joys of home (although I'll post stuff about that at some point.

Yesterday I had a conversation about awkward hugs. This blog entry will describe the best of the best of the awkward hugs so you can try them on your friends, spouse, family, etc. Nothing quite shows you care like these displays of affection.

1. Arm trap- Go in for a "bro hug" (see Exhibit A). Once you've initiated the shoulder tap, pull the other person in, let go of the hand shaking hand and wrap this around the other shoulder. This leaves the other person's arm trapped between the two of you with no where to really go. They eventually resolve to just leave their hand patriotically on their own chest (see Exhibit B).



2. The Breather- Go in for the hug and once the person is close enough, breath warm air on their neck. This hug gives exponentially more awkward results in correlation with how well the other person knows you.

3. The Sniffer- Similar to the Breather but replaces the warm breathy exhale witha sniffley inhale. This hug is perfect if you have a cold because no one wants you exhaling your viral breath on their neck and at the same time the sound of your sniffing is acoustically magnified by your diseased state.

4. Back Scratcher- This awkward hug should not be attempted by amateurs because it may be misinterpreted as just "really flirtatious" if performed incorrectly. Obviously you could get away with something slower with a complete stranger. With a significant other I'd try something like a startlingly vigorous scratch down starting mid hug.

5. Midget- When in close proximity, retract your arms and grab the person's sides while keeping your elbows at a 90 degree angle.

6. Keep Holding On- Ignore the "shoulder tap out" and hang on an extra 30 seconds before releasing the person from your embrace.

7. The Leg- Similar to the Back Scratcher, this hug should not be attempted on a spouse since it might come off as flirtatious.

Long....

So I want to share with everyone what things make my life long.

Waiting for the Mayo Clinic to post my job. Two days ago they posted a Med Tech job and I got all excited until I realized it was still graves and it was a microbiology position... Yeah, I swear they did that just to get me all excited and then crush me to the ground. I guess there's still 2 weeks left until I get to start officially fretting about it again.

Moving. I hate it... loath it. It would be fine and all if I had a half dozen boxes of stuff but no... I have piles and piles to the point where after 3ish days of packing, I'm still not done. At some point it may be prudent to break myself of the whole pack rat habit.

Work. My Coulter broke last night and because of the trouble shooting i worked the entire 10 hour shift without stopping for a breather. : P

Moment of Fame!... Sort of

So apparently I ended up in the Daily Universe on Friday for my participation with the Sing For Something organization. The fact that I've been done with BYU for 3 years and that I wasn't AT ALL involved in the performance this year is not enough to deter the Daily Universe from granting me my moment of glory!!!

Okay, now I need to go to bed. :P I'm going to be tired tomorrow since I had two dates dancing this weekend. I should get an A+* for applying what they taught us in church last Sunday for 2 hours...

Bucket Listing...

Amanda showed me this link of an 88 year old woman working on her bucket list and it has given me another boost to work on things.

ksl.com - 88-year-old woman learns to drive semi for birthday

So here are the latest on the bucket list... Many of you have seen these items before but I'm posting it again anyways cuz I can!


1. Marry the most attractive man in the world for time and all eternity.
2. Have the most fantastic kids ever (accomplish after item 1)
3. Learn German and go to Germany on a Family History Adventure
4. Buy a “fixer upper” house and renovate it so it is “our/my” house
5. Save someone’s life (physically and spiritually)
6. Become a temple worker (will complete when I get to AZ)
7. Go to a Renaissance Fair and watch a jousting match while eating a leg of mutton.
8. Witness a total solar eclipse.
9. Learn to ride a horse so I can ride said horse into the sunset. (Galloping horse on the beach.. ½ credit)
10. Learn archery and shoot a bull’s eye.
11. Go waterskiing
12. Go sailing
13. Go to Hawaii (accomplish 13-17)
14. Learn to surf
15. Hike a volcano
16. Swim with the dolphins
17. Go to a legitimate luau with a pig and a spit, the dancing, the grilled pineapple, etc.
18. Ride in a hot air balloon.
19. Learn how to fly a helicopter (or at least ride in one)
20. Go white water rafting.
21. Take a pottery class
22. Learn how to navigate using the stars, or at least be able to identify the major constellations
23. Learn how to perform enough magic tricks to perform a magic show
24. Learn how to juggle
25. Learn how to paint with oil paints and do a portrait of someone
26. Learn origami (cranes in particular, those little jumping frogs [check], and something else…)
27. Join a Big Sister’s program
28. Volunteer at a homeless shelter
29. Write and publish a children’s book
30. Learn car maintenance (maybe take a shop class… more than just changing the oil and tires… I can do that)
31. Go to culinary school. At the least finish copying Grandpa Schuler’s recipes.
32. Become informed, politically, with the news, etc.
33. Grow a Bonsai tree
34. Learn how to earn money in the stock market, about finances in general. (half way done with the book "Women and Money" so I'm making progress)
35. Become the master of myself in awkward situations (look people in the eye and don’t laugh uncomfortably.)
36. Figure out how to discern when someone is lying or hiding something from you.
x 37. Learn how to speed read
38. Go to a rodeo (dressed for the occasion with the boots and hat)
39. Own an island
40. Go on a safari (again, dressed for the occasion)
41. Ride a dog sled
42. Learn the basics of tree and bird identification.
43. See the Olympics live.
44. Break a Guinness World Record
45. Name a star
46. Build a tree fort
x 47. Go spelunking
48. Learn how to drive manual
49. Learn how to do a Rubik’s cube and finish it in less than a minute
50. Do 100 push ups
51. Perfect the art of candy making, particularly chocolates.
52. Stay a night at the ice hotel in Sweden
53. See a film festival
54. Send a message in a bottle out to sea.
55. Go to the world’s largest food fight in Tomatina
56. Take a bicycle tour somewhere (France?)
57. Learn Morse code (Attempted... need to find a friend to learn it with me though)
58. Summit Half Dome
59. Ride an elephant
60. Plant an orchard and win an award using fruit grown in said orchard (like award winning apple pie or peach preserves)
61. Figure out how to do a head stand or hand stand
62. Go to New Zealand to see the set of Lord of the Rings
63. Scuba at the Great Barrier Reef
64. Learn how to ice sculpt
65. Serve a mission
66. Learn how to whittle a stick, maybe an instrument?
67. Learn how to play all the hymns in the hymnal
68. Build an igloo and sleep in it.
69. Spend a year in a foreign country
70. Go to all of the temples in Utah (halfway there)
71. Blow glass or make a stained glass window
72. Ride a camel across the desert
73. Experience zero gravity
74. Moon walk on the moon
75. Figure out how to use a pogo stick
76. Master the fine art of doing a cartwheel
77. See the aurora borealis
78. Zip line tour in New Zealand
79. Learn how to rock climb/boulder
80. Kiss in the rain. I hear it’s magical.
81. See the Hill Cumorah and Manti Pageants
82. See the pyramids in Egypt
83. Go to Jerusalem
84. Fly in a squirrel suit
85. See Wicked
86. Play Quidditch
87. Learn the Napoleon Dynamite Dance… and Thriller
88. Yodel from the top of the Eiffel Tower
89. Have a bird land on my finger, like unto a Disney Princess.
90. Master the art of photography (as in learn all the different features on cameras, space, color…)
x 91. Dirty Dash, followed by mud wrestling
92. Snowboard down a double black diamond
93. Raise a chicken until its old enough to lay eggs and make an omelet from said eggs.
94. Weave a basket underwater
95. Take an interior design class
96. Win a Jack and Jill Competition with a boy named Jack
97. Make a giant piñata and have a piñata party
98. Choreograph a light saber duel and have a staged battle in a public place
99. Watch someone give birth
100. Service Vacation
101. Learn how to ride a unicycle
102. Go hiking with llamas (walked around with llama at llama fest. 1/2 credit)
103. Get a concealed weapons permit
104. Go kite surfing
105. Crowd surf
106. Ride a tandem bike
107. Swim with bioluminescent plankton
108. Visit the Sedlec Ossuary, aka Church made out of bones, Czech Republic
109. Write “Thank You” notes to my elementary school teachers
110. Attend Loy Krathong Festival of lanterns in Thailand
111. Go blob jumping
112. Ride a mattress down a stair case
113. Make a crop circle
114. Float in the Dead Sea
115. Have an ice cream flavor named after me
116. Be an extra in a movie… not a home video.
117. Ride a Segway
118. Build a HUGE Lego something… Maybe a pirate ship or something…
119. Stand on the equator
120. Travel to all 50 states
121. Milk a cow
122. Pay for someone else’s groceries
123. See Cirque de Soleil
124. Ride a Mechanical Bull
125. Go to a legitimate spa for a day
126. Learn how to do a pressure point message
127. Re-master the art of baking delicious yet nutritious bread
128. Collect recipe book of “recipes people always ask you for”
129. Go to “Chick-Fil-A” dressed like a cow to get free food
130. Attend the World Cup
131. Go zorbing
132. See the rain forest
133. Go to an airport with no preconceived idea of where I’m going and take a trip
134. Go the Parasite Museum in Japan
135. Drive a Semi Truck
136.

So tomorrow I'm going to work on item 70 by going to the Vernal temple, followed by figuring out the whole storage facility thing and top it off with dancing in SLC. If only I could have multiple lives and I might actually finish everything... Bah, why does life have to be so short?

My mouth ain't as smart as it used to be

Fact: Jill is sometimes impulsive to the point of recklessness. Most of the times it involve things of little consequence... things like going out to eat when I have other things I ought to eat, hiking mountains by myself on a whim, going on adventures at the drop of a hat, etc. Yesterday I did something that would have been reckless and consequential if things had gone amiss... fortunately it didn't.

So Tuesday after work I came home, ate some leftover barbecue and cereal, went to sleep at 8am woke up at 10:00am, carpooled with my friend to SLC and had my wisdom teeth removed as well as a few cavities filled. After that I went to institute, to a stake interview to renew my temple recommend, and now I'm at work for the rest of the night.

When I told my coworkers of my plan yesterday night everyone declared I was CRAZY! They told me horror stories of people out of commission for 2-3 days after having wisdom teeth pulled. It made me a bit nervous actually since I don't really use pain meds often and since I'm a smaller person with a smaller mouth I could see the operation being hard on my system. I just had these visions of me being totally incapacitated at work and a sore, swollen, nasty mess from the whole operation. I had visions of a "stoned" Jill missing something big at work and killing someone at work due to all of the meds...

Despite my inhibitions, the operation went really smoothly and besides a little bit of bruising, most people wouldn't be able to guess I even had the operation. No drowsiness from the meds... I could eat frozen yogurt less than an hour after the procedure. I probably wouldn't need the meds much at all if I was continuously icing my cheeks.

The operation itself wasn't that bad either. I had these visions of things being incredibly painful, grinding, and foul tasting. Despite the mornings inhibitions I told the dentist I didn't want laughing gas (hoping this would minimize my recovery) and honestly I don't see why people need it. I'd be listening to CNN talking about the failing economy and then I'd glance over and realize that Dr. Broadbent was grinding away and my teeth or yanking on something. Maybe it had something to do with how I was running on no sleep... Needless to say, things didn't ever get as bad as I thought they would. I'm eternally grateful for modern medicine which put me in a situation where I couldn't really feel anything. I'm sure I'd sing a different tune if I had felt it or if the Dental Hygienist didn't have one of those sucky-upper things that she was quite skilled with so my mouth didn't taste vile.