So 2+ times in this last week people have told me that I'm holding back. Many people see me as totally carefree individual (true certain degree since I have every other week off). However, I like to feel in control. If I don't feel moderately in control I will hold back until I do have my footing. As I was sitting here tonight I suddenly pondered what it would be like if I did discard all cautions and fears.
My voice teacher would be happier when I sang above a high E. I'd get a lot more bruises at frisbee. I'd turn down a lot more dates, for better or for worse depending on what sort of person they really ended up being. I'd be even more adventurous (hard to believe, but definitely true).
I often assume a guy isn't interested in me if he isn't asking me out (safe assumption if not true majority of the time). However, I sometimes wonder if some of these guys who I assume aren't interested in me would ever be interested in me if they knew I was potentially interested. My current philosophies of dating stops me from talking to certain guys like this but if I discarded my fear of potentially awkward friendships I might actually find someone I genuinely want to date.
I think it would be educational to see how my life changed if I didn't mask certain emotions. I think its good in certain situations when I hold my tongue or don't speak my mind. Talking to people like incompitent nurses, my sister's ex-husand, etc. would be a little messy. However, letting people know you aren't happy allows them to fix things.
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