Stop waiting for the pony

Its been a while folks.  I've decided to try to get back into writing and that involves me reviving this blog. We'll see how well I juggle things.

I'm sure all of us have heard of the Pony Express.  I found a bike route down a Historic Pony Express trail and although I was on my bike, not a horse, I could still vividly imagine how things used to be.  The brilliant pink and orange sunrise over the desert mountain and the heroic messenger galloping to his goal.  The hares and quail scattering as the thundering of hoofs ruptured the silence abruptly and vanished as quickly as they came.  The glory of knowing you were the fastest living thing in the desert.

Except not really.  I recently heard that as far as long distance running goes, one of the fastest mammals around is actually....  Homo Sapiens.  For ages men have chased down deer and gazelle at a steady trot.  Prey would bound out reach gracefully, slow down to a trot, and finally collapse in exhaustion at the hunter's feet.  Turns out, the fastest Indian Braves with a message were known to outrun the pony express.  Granted, it took the dedication and training of a warrior, but they were able to do what most of us would consider unthinkable.

I feel like in my own life there is a lot of pressure to get going on the pony express.  The message is burning away in my pocket as I browse through stable after stable feeling more and more confused.  For one reason or another I just can't find the right pony.  I feel like I don't have everything I need to be truly successful.  There's not enough time, not enough money, not enough energy, no perfect game plan on how I'm supposed to move forward.  Where is my time turner, my pixie dust, my bill board directing me to prince charming's castle?

This is me resolving to stop waiting for the perfect pony and run.  Run as fast as I can.  Let the wind whip through my hair, let me chase that desert horizon.  Its time to leave everything else behind and trust that things will become clear.  Whatever the purest, most genuine desires of my heart may be, God and the universe will conspire so that I have everything I need to fulfill my destiny.  Its time to stop worrying about ponies in stables and realize that I was born to run with wild horses.

Germany

Just very VERY busy with life.  Its been a while since I've posted anything.  I did just catch up on everyone's blogs and your kids are all getting so BIG!!  I also have the book club "writing club" stories in a folder in my e-mail that I will get to at some point.  But it looks like everyone is doing well and I hope its true.

I went to Germany and back.  I can't decide if it was epically magical or magically epic?  Either way, it's check off the old bucket list and it feels good.

Lessons Learned 

(not necessarily for the first time but solidified none the less)

-Spontaneous friendships are my favorite:  Like the random guy I met on the plane from Kazakhstan who gave me a loaf of ethnic bread for no apparent reason (providing an easy breakfast for my sister and i for 2 days). Or the random followers of the street performer "Rent-a-Fab" who then invited us to eat dinner with them in the gardens of Munich (where I proceeded to have the best potatoes I've ever eaten and added some new facebook friends).  I am resolved to try to encourage such friendships more readily in my life because the world is full of some rather awesome people.

-Don't leave things on the train:  Like your camera....  or your bag of fruit and almonds...  or that mystery soda that turned out to be herbed lemonade.  So many wonderful things that I won't ever see again and it makes me sad.

-Singing in the public happens:  At least it does when you travel with Jessica.  I spontaneously sing to myself when I'm distracted and am pretty sure no one can hear me/is bothered by it.  Jessica belts it out and knows everyone is listening and doesn't care.  It made me feel a little awkward at first because she is basically holding out a big sign saying "YES, I'M AN AMERICAN TOURIST!" or in a more basic sense, I don't like being the center of attention.  Then Jessica pointed out that I wouldn't see any of these people ever again so stop caring.  Turns out most people enjoyed Jessica's vocal outbreaks, particularly on the "Sound of Music Tour" and the relatives (Jessica was the favorite).  Evidence that I probably shouldn't let myself worry about what others think as much.

-Adventure is there if you look for it:  We did plenty of organized tours, but there was still a lot of unscheduled exploring of old churches, shops, etc.  The German churches, architecture, history was often breath taking and it really enriched our trip.  I realized that I'm just as capable of adventuring in this manner in Arizona or anywhere.  I read a book where a couple went on a "tourist date" in their home city and I am determined to continue to really explore the Phoenix area with a new energy.

-Technology hates me sometimes:  Which is why I'm alright not owning a smart phone...  My ipod touch is glitchy enough and turns out we survived even though our cell phones from Verizon didn't work or the fact we didn't have a GPS.

-Slow down:  Europeans are rather chill people.  They go to work, come back, and then go socialize at a restaurant, at home, etc.  There are lots of times that I feel like my life's "To Do" list is a mile long but sometimes you need to ignore it to go eat a "mystery pastry" at the local backery and call it a day.

-I don't know everything but God does so everything is alright:  My little sister was my travel companion which was great since I've been worried about her a lot.  She has been dealing with a lot of issues but something that was a particular blow was learning that Jessica had left the church.  She still lives a lot of the Mormon standards (no caffeine, sabbath day, etc.) and still has a strong testimony of God.  However, she did research, learned things that shook any faith in major Mormon doctrines (Joseph Smith, the priesthood, etc.), decided that she wasn't in the right church, and has begun exploring other Christian denominations.

Before the trip, I was preparing to be devastated.  In spite of everything, I only feel a mild heart ache blended with an overwhelming sense of peace.  God has everything under control and everything will work out for the best.  Jessica still loves God and I trust that on the other side of the veil there will be purpose, mercy, and clarity.

-I love the temple: I'm grateful for the temple and my resolution to go weekly because as Jessica questioned "How do you know you couldn't have the same relationship with God through another church" I kept thinking of all of the meaningful truths I've learned at the temple.  Other churches offer great things but without the temple, my understanding of God's plan for me, of the atonement, of sacrifice, of my relationship with Him would be incomplete.  This trip was very much inspired by my love for the temple/family history and I feel like I've been reminded of why I need the Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints.

Well, I have errands to run again.  Sorry no pictures (they'll end up when Jessica posts hers on facebook...  I still have heard no news about my camera.)

A Hollow Chocolate Rabbit

I feel really bad for people who aren't Christian on Easter.  My feelings for them are probably parallel to how married  people feel about me on Valentine's Day.

"Don't worry dear," they say, patting me on the shoulder.  "You're young and beautiful. You'll probably have a Valentine by next year."  Secretly (or not) most of these people are pitying me for not being able to experience the best parts of the holiday.  They'd be wrong in thinking I don't have a grand time celebrating because I have plenty of chocolate and valentines and (platonic) love and flowers (which I buy for myself the day after when they go on sale).  However, I'm not dancing in the moonlight in the arms of a tall dark handsome Valentine.  I'm not riding off into the sunset, eating bon-bons, or whispering sweet nothings into a manly ear.  As far as Valentine's Days go, they can only think about how much I'm missing out.

Likewise, I know people who aren't that religious.  I know I'd be wrong thinking they aren't having a grand time celebrating because they have plenty of chocolate and dyed Easter eggs and loved ones nearby.  However, they're missing out on the best part.  The glory of Jesus Christ's triumph over the grave for all mankind, the refining peace and joy of His atonement, the companionship of the Holy Spirit:  The knowledge of the gospel of Jesus Christ makes this holiday.

Its like discovering that your friend is eating a hollow nestle chocolate bunny.  Meanwhile you have a handcrafted solid rabbit of fine European chocolate.  Sweet as their Easter may be, you wish they could really experience Easter...

The Equal Sign

People keep posting it and I decided that I'd come up with a summary of how I feel about it:

I have a testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ which teaches that marriage is between a man and a woman.  It also teaches that we shouldn't drink, smoke, have premarital sex...  lots of things that the average "non mormon" probably isn't doing.  I love my friends and family, all of them.  That's including those who aren't mormon and those who are gay.  Many of them are living kinder, more genuine, more Christian lives than people I know who claim to be mormon.  I feel the gospel is the greatest source of joy in my life.  I know its true.  However its the path I've chosen and I would be frustrated if someone forced me to live a life I felt was wrong.  I think all of us deserve the right to discover our own path.

I think the government should do what is necessary to protect the rights of Gay couples.  However, our nation was founded on the principle of separation of church and state.  I would disagree with any legislation that would force a religion to perform a marriage ceremony that goes against their basic doctrines.

That's it, simple and sweet.  As long as the government can come up with a way to protect religion, then let the gay people be married.  Whether or not they have the word marriage, they'll keep loving each other and be just as gay as they are now.

The Perfect Valentine's Day Gift

New discovery!!  I don't know how I've lived my whole life without ever hearing about the majestic Tardigrade aka the Water bear.

Here are some facts that I stole from wikipedia about this critter.

-Water bears can survive temperatures close to absolute zero and up to 304F.
-They can survive the vacuum of outer space for at least 10 days.
-Live 10+ years without water.
-Can survive 5000GY of gamma rays (5-10 would be fatal to a human)

Yep.  Water bears in Space (sounds like a band name).  Basically the most hard core organism ever.  I've decided that since guys like to give girls cheesy gifts, such as those stuffed bears

 that its totally alright for me to want one of these from my future Valentine.

Because love like polar bear or a grizzly bear can be killed with a rifle but love like a water bear will never die.

Understanding the Lord's Timing

I've been going through a bit of a weird phase.  Last month two of my guy friends (not close, mind you, but still friends) died unexpectedly.  Both were young, righteous, had so much to live for.  I know I should feel happy for them, particularly Eric who had been struggling with Cerebral Palsy.  I'm sure they're having a party with baseball, sunshine, music, and ice cream on the other side of the veil... but still, thinking about their abrupt deaths makes me feel vulnerable and old.  I have so much I want to do in my life and the idea that it could end just like that...  Steve would probably pat me on the shoulder, laugh at me in a goodhearted way, and then tell me I should watch this funny youtube video.



Well, I recently had a mini "A HA" moment.  I was reading about Adam and Eve and got caught up thinking in the whole scenario where Satan persuades Eve to eat the forbidden fruit.  Satan is all "There is no other way" and Eve sees that she has to break God's first commandment in order to complete the second one.  Or was that true?  Eve's big sin, though unintentionally done and with good motives, was brought about because she failed to trust that God had things under control, failed to trust that His timetable might be different then hers, failed to involve God in her decision making process.  Fortunately for Eve, the fruit gave her the knowledge of good and evil, helped her see her error, she repented, God had a plan, Jesus atoned for us, and everyone lives happily ever after (well, except Satan).

As things have been mulling over in my brain I just have to remember that the God that created the universe, moves mountains, and walks on water has total control of the happenings in my life.  I need to trust that God has a plan, a time table, and a perfect understanding of what I need to grow and fulfill my destiny.  I need to communicate with Him in these moments when life doesn't make sense.  I need to learn from Eve's freak out moment and remember that just because the world seems contradictory, a world where good people suffer, where the young die when their lives are just beginning, that God is still there and no wrong will not be righted in the end.  If I give my life to God he will take it, shape it, and return it to me as something more precious, holy, and beautiful than what I could make of it on my own.

To end things on a lighter note, this is one of my favorite mormon ads.  I've seen it who knows how many times and I still get all teary eyed at the end.

Chick Flick Etiquet

My friend and I have been watching the film "Wives and Daughters" and although I love the movie, the ending always bothers me a little bit.  Don't get me wrong, the majority of the movie is fabulous, true love is found, Molly with her good face and wild hair ends up with the handsome and charming man of science, Roger.  However, the happy couple doesn't ever kiss and it drives me CRAZY.  Its not because the producer was apposed to kissing (Roger kisses someone else part way through the film), and I know I shouldn't really care this much about it but really...  it still bugs me.  Watching a chick flick without the kiss is like going out to Chinese food and not getting any rice.

Well, it bugged me enough that I'm going to post this clip from the end of North and South.  THAT is how a chick flick needs to end.  I still don't know any girl who has watched the train scene only once.  I think Mailee and I went through about 10 times at which point she gave me a play by play on why it is the perfect kiss.

Time to watch it again.  :)

Flirting and Leprosy

As of late, I feel like my latest attempts at flirting have gone like this....

Or this (I don't really watch the show but the clip has things about right).

Well, I guess I should give myself some credit.  I haven't been having any conversations about athletes foot, gas, or leprosy...  My mind just keeps going blank and then I feel like I prattle on about the weather and other small talky sorts of things.  I need to pick up my game.  There are men that I think could be my type, men I want to get to know better, men in all their tall, dark, handsome, and nerdy splendor.  Even if they aren't interested in going out with me, I want to know I didn't let the opportunity pass  me by.  So this is me resolving to be a more engaging conversationalist, to make the arm grab even though it almost always makes me feel like a robot, and to work my thunder

 ::insert KaChowBoomchickaBoomSkadoosh soundeffect here::.  

Well, since this blog isn't me flirting with a boy...  I mentioned leprosy and when I think about leprosy I ALWAYS get this song stuck in my head and now I'm sharing.  It delights the nerd within me.

Leprosy 

(To the tune of Yesterday by the Beatles)

Leprosy,

Bits and pieces falling off of me

But it isn't the toxicity

It's just neglect of injury

Suddenly,

I'm not half the man I used to be

Can't feel anything peripherally

From swollen nerves, hypersensitivity

Why don't leprae grow in vitro we cannot say

In vivo they grow very slow, once in 12 d....a.....ys

Hard to get,

But the stigma hasn't faded yet

Don't keep an armadillo as a pet,

Clofazimine and Dapsone, Don't forget.

Arranged by J. Sadinoff, 1989

TedX

Are all y'all familiar with ted.com?  If not, you should check it out because its one of my favorite websites online.  Ted (Technology, Education, Design) is a nonprofit organization focused on "Ideas Worth Spreading".  The videos usually about 20 minutes and they make me feel like I'm back at a college lecture/education week at BYU.  Fascinating, nerdy, cool stuff.  Here are some of my favorites I can think of off the top of my head.

Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability

Any of her stuff about vulnerability or shame.  

Lisa Kristine: Photos that bear witness to modern slavery

You hear about women trafficking in a movie like Taken but I had no idea things this bad were this common globally.

Amy Cuddy: Your body language shapes who you are

My uncle a chiropractor once commented about how my family slouched at the dinner table.  I guess after listening to this I should take my posture more seriously.

Ramesh Raskar: Imaging at a trillion frames per second

You can actually watch light in slow motion.  

The Hidden Meanings in Kids' Movies: Colin Stokes at TEDxBeaconStreet

Well, this isn't a favorite but I just watched this one today which inspired this post.  Many of you have kids though so I think you'd enjoy it.