Yesterday I took my dad to get cell phones for my family. He also changed our land-line phone number. He disconnected our current land-line phone number. I have seldom felt so afraid for my family in my entire life.
I don't want to go into a lot of details about the whys of my sister's divorce but here is a glimpse at my ex-brother in law's character and why he causes me to lose sleep at night.
1. He can't handle being wrong.
2. He has no regard for the law.
3. He has no grip on reality anymore. He has always been kind of a "conspiracy theorist" but its a lot more than that nowadays.
4. He is a desperate man. He has has no living parents. His wife and sons want nothing to do with him now. He is alone in the world and no matter who you are, this is a sad thing.
Jerry is out there trying to call my sister and it won't be long until he realizes that our home phone number has been disconnected. There's a queezy feeling in my gut that says he will decide the only way to convince Jennifer she's wrong about this divorce is to talk to her in person. My parents are convinced he won't have the motivation or means to travel out here but I don't agree with them.
He's a foot taller than my father, a BIG guy. He was in the military. My father has no guns, no security system. We can always call the police if he shows up but what good is the restraining order if he shows up with a gun... I'd appreciate any prayers on my families behalf. This situation has been nagging me for months but my fear has been more tangible since this afternoon when I learned we wouldn't be getting any more phone calls from Jerry...
Aside from my paranoia of my brother-in-law my trip home has been lovely. Everyone has been spoiling me and fighting for my time which is flattering in a weird sort of way. There have been so many beautiful little moments: Running with my mom, playing with my nephews, pampering Jennifer, staying up until 2am with Jessica, temple trip with dad.
Today in particular was beautiful. Deseret and I took her canoe to our island and we ate a score-cake for our B-days. The wind danced across the waves and wove through the long green grass which gave it a surreal appearance. Deep in the grass it felt like summer, all calm and sunshine. I made a dandelion crown. We watched the caterpillars creep down our legs. We ate and talked and laughed. It felt like time might freeze for us, just a moment, and we'd wake up and realize we were still a couple of high school kids spending another lazy afternoon at the lake.
In my life there are so many beautiful moments. I want to squeeze them each into a large glass jar and store them underneath my bed. I'd pull them out when my life is dark and frustrating and then escape in one of those beautiful moments. I'd forget all my troubles in the long swirling grass and sunshine, feel the calm and sunshine in my soul. If only...
No comments:
Post a Comment