Half Truths

I introduced myself at Ward Prayer Tonight and thought you guys might enjoy reading the "Half Truths" I told about myself. Enjoy!!


I am a full time vampire or in other words, I deal with blood all night.
I’ve read every book ever written.
I’ve received numerous Pulitzer Prizes for my poetry, the most noteworthy entitled “I won’t write a poem about Jackie”
I have won dozens of Jack and Jill competitions with my awesome Lindihop Swing Dancing Skills.
I am a Jujitsu master. The other day I did a successful flying triangle choke on a bear I was wrestling in the mountains
I love the outdoors so I hike and camp in the mountains quite a bit. I like to converse with the woodland creatures while I pick wildflowers and wildberries. I am fluent in squirrel in twelve different dialects.
I’ve won a half marathon running backwards.
When I go snowboarding, I carve down double black diamond slopes. I am halfway done building a hover craft board so I can continue to go during the summer.
I like to play Frisbee blindfolded. Vampires, like bats, have awesome echolocation skills so I still always catch the Frisbee when people throw it to me.