I feel that 73% of phone messages I leave for others are doomed to be awkward. You say what you need to and then try to wrap it up but somehow it always starts rambling on and on. Its the sensation you get when you think you're having a conversation and realize the other person won't talk back and the conversation is totally one sided. You consider shutting up but then the two of you sitting together in silence and that would be even more uncomfortable so you just keep talking. You continue until you figure out an escape route and then you scramble frantically away. I don't like talking to myself. Some of you may feel like Shakespearean actors reciting your soliloquies but I always feel like that lonely old cat woman who talks to her Mr. Whiskers or inanimate objects around the house.
To try to cope with these unpleasant sensations, I feel like its good to spice up your phone messages. If the message is doomed to be awkward, why not make it intentional. Here are some suggestions for your phone messaging experiences.
-Musical voice mails. Theme music from Batman, Hey Jude, and Bohemian Rhapsody work well but I sometimes improv my own musical creations.
-Have fictitious side conversations with people in the other room. "Just shave your head and dye your scalp purple." "No, I'm meeting Chuck Norris at Rubios, not Chick Filet." "I'll need another flame thrower. Can you throw it in the trunk? Cool."
-Secret Mission phone call. Start it off with some Mission Impossible theme music followed by "This message is set to self destruct in 5.... 4... 3... 2... (hang up or explosion sound effects)"
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