As a young child I would go play on the slide for long stretches of time trusting that my parents would ALWAYS catch me. Even if they were on the other side of the lawn and if for some unheard of reason they didn't notice me before it was too late... Then I'd cry and cry like it was the ultimate betrayal.
Well, I imagine myself as this child tugging on Heavenly Father's sleeve. He kneels down so that I can tell Him the facts. This is the way things are gonna be.
"I'm going be a professional dog sled racer. I found the perfect coat."
"I'm going to eat ice cream for every meal."
"I'm going to make my own rocket and fly to the moon so I can make a quesadilla out of moon cheese."
"I'm going to move to Arizona, work cushy day shifts at the Mayo Clinic, meet the future love of my life, and live happily ever after."
"I need to eat the macaroni and cheese from this box RIGHT NOW."
God knows I can't REALLY borrow the neighbor's chihuahua puppy for this envisioned dogsled team, that if I eat ice cream every meal I'll become sick and fat, that I can't build a functional rocket out of cardboard, and that some good things, like macaroni and cheese, take time to make right. As I howl because I have to wait a whole ten minutes for the noodles to cook, to deal with the fact that my roommate is moving to Michigan, that my dating life is more complicated than it was in Provo, that I'm expected to work obscene amounts of overtime, that I feel like I ought to be so much more than what I've become, he just smiles down at me, kisses me on the forehead, and holds me tight until I manage to stop blubbering. He whispers that I need to be strong and that He has everything under control and it'll be just fine.
So this is me, signing out from my seat at the top of life's roller coaster, waiting for the plummet and trusting that at God's amusement park, if I keep my seat belt fastened and arms and legs inside the car, that things can be fun, safe, and terrifying at the same time.
Jill, what good analogies. You are so wonderful. Come visit me in Texas, ok? We would have so many adventures.
ReplyDeleteI know that things work out in the most unexpected ways in a time frame that doesn't always make sense. This has been true my whole life! You can make it through because you are just the girl you are supposed to be, Jill Schuler, awesome and trying to be better each day. Just don't push yourself too hard!
I loved this post. I, too, have howled at a pot of macaroni and cheese. I miss you.
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